what's your story?

wow - finally got a lull in my day to day life, here in baguio city, and thought i would send a quick update as to what it is that i've been doing here! this past weekend has been super busy, but was blessed with monday...which is, my day off! woot woot! :)

here's the breakdown:

I my friday

II my saturday

III my sunday

I my friday

baguio city jail // another day

this past friday, was my afternoon at the jail, and i had fully prepared for the afternoon with all of my materials. before you knew it, my bag was

full and bulging with different sizes of papers, little slips, crayons, and a makeshift envelope that i had creatively prepared. haha, who woulda thought i had it in me! haha, i guess i just had the motivation, and so i went for it. :)

well friday afternoons, as you know, is when go to the jails to spend time with CICL. the two social workers i was with, basically told me, ok, so you're in charge for this friday - can you think of an art activity for them to do? and so...i thought. um, yessss sure! haha, so what do i do? i go online and quickly do a search for "art therapy" - i find an assignment called "give & take", reformed it a little bit, and made it into what the activity was going to be on friday.

on the way to the jail...i was going through my materials, and nearly had a heart attack, cause in the taxi, i remembered! AHHH i left my ID in my camera case, at home! LUCKILY, the guard recognized me, and was able to vouch for my legitimacy. thank you, Jesus. haha, the fact that the guards are starting to recognize me, is a good thing, but a funny thing too - never thought i would ever reach that point in a jail. haha, but it's for a good cause. :) and so, we waited for a little bit, cause all of the rooms that we usually use, were unfortunately all full. :( i was sitting there anxious with the other social workers, haha, but i saw the jail warden was getting pretty heated too, so i kept a smile on my face the whole time. hahaha! had to ease things a little bit.

anyway, waiting patiently, the next thing you know, we were going downstairs...yup! that's right...all rooms were taken..except for the common area of the men's cell...hahaha, i was like, umm where are we going? and they just said, downstairs! haha, and soooo we went. i was greeted by a large room with some inmates making the pandesal (filipino bread rolls) for breakfast the next morning, a tv playing, some men just hanging out, and then some other inmates peering through their bars, trying to get the closest glimpse of what program was going to be held in their common area.

the familiar faces from CICL came into the room, and it was wonderful to see their serious faces, turn into legitimate smiles. at least, it seemed like that for me. and so i was grateful for their presence. i got kind of nervous at first, and i was like, ah! they're not going to understand me, and so i asked the other social worker if she could just give the instructions for me. she said, no, just for it! and so, i did! and i was glad i did. the activity was as follows: on one side of the paper, answer the question via drawing, what is the gift/skill/talent that you give the world? what are you able to give to others? on the other side of the paper, answer the question via drawing, what is the gift that you have received from the world? and so they went off.

some of them immediately started drawing, chose fun colors, gathered in groups and went at it...they were laughing, and enjoying it. some of them sat off in their corners, and stared blankly at their papers. when i sat with one of the kids, i asked him....what do you feel like you have received from the world? ...it was then i knew i was walking on shaky ground, because of his circumstances...and he told me in tagalog, that's where he's having trouble - everything he has received, has been...not good. and so, i encouraged him, and i helped with possible suggestions or at least things think about. it wasn't a really happy time, but i could tell he was thinking about the question. and it was sad. i was happy that he was open with me, to talk further about a couple of things. despite any language barriers, truly, truly, connections are made through the heart, and it was there.

i had each of them present their drawings, and it was awesome because they were all very open. it was amazing, as all of them truly are thankful for their families, despite any of the circumstances that they have been subjectd to, and have been raised in. one of the similarities between all of them, is that they all love music, and they felt that was a gift that they give to the world. before i knew it, the jail officer left...he came back, and in hand, he had a guitar, and placed it on one of their laps...and said, GO! hahaha, it was GREAT! i really liked seeing that. it reminded me of when i was at rikers island, and the jail officer was part of the small group where we were talking about faith. it was beautiful collaboration.

afterwards, we started singing songs - the theme song they had for the day, written on their blackboard, was, " i wanna grow old with you " - yeah, like, adam sandler status. haha, and s

ooo since they all knew it, we all sang it. hahaha, yes, the inmates on the outside, the older men, were still peering through the bars, asking the CICL who i was, commenting on the pictures...it was nice to help liven up the place a bit! afterwards, for a closing, i had prepared little slips of paper with inspirational quotes on them. i figured, i would not be seeing them for another week or so, and so, i wanted to at least give them something to have, tangibly, just in case they had any super difficult times. and so, i told them, you have to pray that whatever quote you get, that is what is meant for you from God. hahaha, and sooo before i knew it, they all stood up, were intensely praying, and then they each picked one. one by one...some asked for two. and that made me happy - maybe next time i'll come prepared with more!

lastly, i made a little envelope for prayer intentions. though the jail provides bible studies and mass, i didn't really know how many of them do actually attend, and so i really wanted them to know that they are being prayed for...but rather, i wanted to see what other prayer intentions they had too, so that we too could pray for them. and so, i provided them with slips of paper and gave them the option to write their prayers and insert them in the envelope, telling them that i would be sharing their prayers with our community, so that we can pray for them too. the first few people passed, and so i was like, ugh, fail. but then i was like, even if no one writes anything, i will do this every time i see them, and at least they will know that we are praying for them...well, after the first few passed, others started taking slips...and inserted them into the envelope.

after saying bye to them, and distributing different things to them (toothpaste, shampoo, etc.), i left. we gave extras to the people who didn't regularly get visitors. it made me really sad when we asked, who doesn't get visited a lot (meaning, we would give them extra things), and they all were able to point out who would need it more than them...and so, he got extra. it just broke my heart. afterwards, as i said bye to them, gave them high fives, and told them to be good and that we would be praying for them, i grabbed my cell phone, said bye to the jail officers, and went on my way....off to the streets, walked to mass, then onto the jeepney home.

i walked into the street, and thought to myself...wow. open air. having the freedom to walk, in the open air - no bars...and they were all still there. that night, i shared the prayer intentions with our community, and i was caught off guard by one of them, where the last line of his prayer said, " thank you Crystal and sisters." i was so shocked, because 1) i didn't even know he remembered my name 2) it provided me with confirmation that he appreciated when i asked him more about his life...baby steps. it was really nice.

please pray for these CICL and others who are imprisoned, as this can be a very hopeless place, and it can be very discouraging, more than encouraging, when thinking of the possibility of even getting out. yes, they have committed crimes, some have not and are actually innocent, but, i have come to believe and feel that they too, are my brothers and sisters. and so, it is always nice to be with them.

II my saturday

home sweet home//recollection day for SOSCFI parents

it was a beautiful day where sr. t and sr. bernadette led the parents in a day with the theme, service. to open, we reflected on the scripture where jesus washed the feet of the disciples. to bring this ritual to life, the parents partnered up, and washed the hands of their neighbor. it was especially beautiful because originally there were going to be all mothers, but one of the mothers was unable to attend, so she sent her husband! he was game though, and it was a beautiful time.

during the afternoon session, it was a reflection between mary and & elizabeth (how mary journeyed to visit elizabeth), and well, we had to modify the activity for him a little bit...so it was like, joseph. i ended up being paired with one of the mothers because of the odd number, and so, we gathered outside. well, as soon as i started talking with my partner, the other groups started coming over to me. there were probably about 16 of them! and they asked me to explain their assignment, and what they were being asked to do. because the instructions were in english, there was some confusion there! i definitely believe that the holy spirit helped me translate the story of mary & elizabeth into tagalog, because by the end of my lengthy period of story-telling and then explanation, they understood, and were able to discuss with their partner! haha, i really felt like a story teller, where i was just sitting on a bench, and everyone was gathering around. it was awesome! :)

haha, it was a blessed day, and it was equally wonderful to see how excited the parents would get when i would ask them about their children. i enjoyed meeting the parents, especially, because while i have only met a few of them, i have not met all of them, and it was nice to put parents' faces with their childrens' faces too. :)

III my sunday

ICM House of Prayer//Path of Life Retreat

on sunday, sr. bernadette and i led a retreat for young adults/young professionals, and we talked about call, vocation, discernment, all that good stuff! i led the opening prayer, which i found worked with my health class last year, and so, of course i had to incorporate it into this retreat. :) i started off with little slips of paper, had them write their prayer intentions in it, and then we formed a chain with our prayer intentions...all, of course, while i was playing, "we're all in this together" by ben lee. when i showed them the finished product and showed them how much stronger we are when we are together, there was an, awwwww, come from the crowd. it was great! :)

in the morning, sr. bernadette talked on our "call" - the "call" that we receive from God, and the different ways that we may respond, and of course, looking at the scripture for further inspiration, it was really good. in the afternoon, i led a session on our life stories. i shared with them parts of my "life story," by showing them a line graph - with all the ups and downs, i am here in baguio city...but this all began from one of the lowest times, which is when i was super unhappy in my job in LA. it felt good to share my story with them, as i think they were then able to see me a little bit more than just "a missioner from california." then in the afternoon, each group got to have a chance to affirm one another's gifts and talents.

so looking at the three-point approach, we explored our relationship to God, to ourselves, and to others. it was a good day. an exhausting day, but a good one! :)

and THAT, was my weekend. :)

two days at the jail. here we go.

sr. romy: "when you have free time, if you have nothing to do, just come here!"
me: "yes! definitely!"

the priest this morning, in his ending comments towards the conclusion of mass, referred to "this place," as "a place for transformation and conversion." it was clear to me that he tried his hardest, with his most careful word choice, to not use the word, "jail," or "prison." from my experience this past friday, and this morning, it made sense to me - this again, was unlike anything i could have ever imagined. surprising experiences...yet again. i'm starting to see a theme here on mission.

every week, two social workers and i, visit the jail, and spend time with the CICL - "children in conflict with the law." in the jails here, we do not call them juveniles, but rather, 18 and below, you are considered a CICL. this past friday, we did autobiographies with the inmates, and selfishly, i was really glad, because it helped me get to know them at least in more detail, who they were, and what their outlook was on life.

i was surrounded by 7 CICL, 18 year olds, 15 year olds, a 17 year old...most of them with visible tattoos, wearing "normal' street clothes, and they all looked no more than 15 years of age. right off the bat, i didn't know the offenses, but i listened to them as they shared their outlooks on life, and their hopes/dreams for the future.

one of the biggest difficulties was language. but i wouldn't even say that was a HUGE barrier, in the sense that, while i was straight up told, " you need to learn ilocano, " i would have to disagree. the tagalog is helping me a lot, and while i do not understand every word that is spoken, especially the ones spoken in ilocano, i have found that in many of the ministries that i have been involved in here, because of the passive nature of the culture, sometimes just feeling the connection between my heart and theirs, and looking at each of my brothers and sisters, directly in their eyes, gains me that instant access. and that's how i felt on friday.

one of the boys was very hesitant, did not want to share their autobiographies, and towards the end as i was getting ready to leave, he said a sincere thank you to me, and i told him i would be back to see him next week. another boy was very reluctant to share, and i had to leave, because i had mass - well, he saw i really wanted to hear his story, and i was walking out, then he gave in. their stories are worth listening to. their lives are worth it...worth, so much.

if you know me, you know that one of my most life-changing experiences was here in the philippines, when i worked with orphans and street children, many of whom were living lives as prostitutes, being trafficked, or abused. and well, my heart crushes every time i hear one of these stories, and this has ultimately led to my desire to use my life as mission...

on friday, i asked one of the boys why he was there. he said, human trafficking. i said almost instantly, wait, why are you in here, if you were trafficked?

i stopped. and then i realized. and i asked, "wait, were YOU being trafficked? or were you the traffickER?" and he said, "i was the trafficker." and i was silent.

my mind started to process, my heart started to catch up to me, and we continued the sharing. whoa. a lot of realities were presented to me that afternoon, and to tell you the truth, i can not wait until next friday, until when i can see them all again, spend time with them, and provide them with a space to reflect on their lives, and who they are. they're all so young, and have been through a lot - abuse, drugs, and have committed crimes, like, rape, murder, theft, trafficking...but, i am learning to love in a whole 'nother capacity.

this morning, i returned with sr. romy to attend mass. i met the other religious sisters, i met other inmates, and they were so nice. i was surprised at how free the inmates were inside. they were allowed to walk all around, and since not all of them wore their "detainee" shirt, at times i was confused as to who was actually an inmate. i spent most of my time this morning in the women's dorm. i was so surprised to see that there is a cooking station they have created in the center of the large room - with a little shop attached to it, where the women can purchase different supplies or different cooking needs. they explained to me, that if they don't like the food that is fed to them, they will put their money together, purchase some food from the men [who have a contract with outside vendors, in which they sell the food in the jail], and then they will cook their own meal. i was just so surprised! i was like, what? you have this privilege! amazing.

during visiting hours, which i was also present for, in the huge quad in the middle of the jail, families came and brought rice, all types of food, and they shared a meal with their family member/friend who was in jail. vendors were walking among the family members/friends/inmates, and i can not even tell you how wonderful it was to see the "detainees" holding their children. i didn't know their stories, but it didn't matter. it was a beautiful reunion after reunion. this one man held his daughter so tight when she ran in. it was really nice.

i was happy when i saw familiar faces. some of the CICL boys were there, and they politely waved at me. it was nice because they saw me first, and they waved! i met some other CICL through the metal bars, and urged them to go to the next friday meeting, since i didn't have a chance to meet them before. then i met two other boys, an 18 year old, and a 20 year old, who immediately called me "ate crystal," and told me that they pray that they will be released. i pray for them too.

it's a really difficult environment to be in, but crazy that only after temporarily handing in my california driver's license, my camera, cell phone, flipcam, i'm in. instantly.

and so, i left, with the desire to return. my prison ministry has begun - but it's not even that, to me. it just felt really right being there. i think that's a good sign. :)

follow your dreams.

when my mom picked me up from the airport in june [from my NY plane ride, marking the end of my mission year in NY], she greeted with me with flowers, and this:

this indeed, became a phrase that we left many of the students with, during vocation week at SLU. follow your dreams. as i sit here in baguio city, i think to myself, wow! i did that. and God helped pave the way. i'm really glad i snatched the bird and stuck him in my handcarry, during my "did i leave anything else?" last run into my house before leaving for LAX to head to my mission here in baguio. :)

such a blessed week it was! after daily mass every day at 5pm, commuting between two campuses (baguio city & bakakeng), vocation talks to 8 classes (tag-teamin' it with sr. b), talking with SO many sisters, brothers, and priests, singing with the capuchins, eating meriendas in the "canteen" with sr. terezinha and loving the religious life community here in baguio city & manila...this girl is tired.

during one of the forums this week (a panel of religious & a married couple - they should have also had a single person on the panel!), a student asked them, " do you ever get tired of what you're doing? " one of the sisters answered, "napapapgod, pero hindi ako nasasawa" (i'm tired, but i'm not tired of it). and that, my friends...is my feeling from this week. i'm tired, but i LOVED it - loved the conversations, loved listening to life stories, being enlightened by sr. bernadette's vocation story each time i heard it in each of the 8 classes, and the masses were absolutely beautiful!

*some key things/questions i brought with me from the week:
- one of the daughters of st. paul said that she became a sister because she found that that was the best way for her, to express the gratitude and JOY for what God has given to her. and so i ask the question, what is the best way for you [me] to express the gratitude and JOY for what God has given you [me]?
- "trust God, and take the trust walk." - sr. bernadette
- the call of God did not start or end when we said yes to our vocation...really cool, when you think about it :)
- "God is never outdone by generosity...follow your dreams" - sr. bernadette
- when asked, "do you ever get attracted to other people, even as a religious? what do you do?" the capuchin brother responded: we acknowledge that person as, "a beautiful creation of God." haha!
- "masaya ka ba? meron kapayapaan sa puso mo? is there something more?" [are you happy? is there peace in your heart?]
- "the harvest is great...but the workers are few." ~ book of matthew

during the classes, sr. bernadette and i decided that we wanted to have interaction between us, as presenters, AND the students...soo, we asked the students, to also think, and eventually share..."what brought you to SLU, into your field of study? AND, what is keeping you here?" while at some points we had to literally PICK students to speak and share, some freely shared, and said, "it is not my choice to do nursing [accountancy], but, my parents pressure me to, so i'm here." or "i realize it is my mom's dream, and not mine" or "i'm not happy in my field, and i want to change, but i think i'm here studying, just because of fear." or "my parents pushed me into this, and now i'm learning to like it."

i acknowledge the difficulty, especially with the students who face pressure from parents, and also, who go to school 6 days a week, work in their spare time, and help support their family and take care of their younger brothers and sisters...and so, perhaps it may not be easy for some to follow their dreams? well, maybe, but also, i don't have an answer for that, and that is not why sr. bernadette and i went to the classrooms. instead, we wanted them to think about it, and listen to their own hearts, and be familiar with the discernment process - no pressure, but simply serving to lay a foundation, or maybe even provide them with some helpful and hopeful thoughts as they reflect on their journey. it has all been really fruitful. no expectations, but i do believe we gave each class, our all! :)

the closing mass stands out in my mind pretty clearly (since it was last night) - it was sponsored by the school of medicine and school of natural sciences. each school that sponsored each of the masses this week, was in charge of organizing the music and their own choir. well, the closing mass was AWESOME! would you believe that the schools which sponsored this particular mass, all dressed in their uniforms, served as the entire choir for the celebration? it was SO powerful! the unity, the conductor [super talented!], the beautiful song choices...it was like, the holy spirit was soaring through the pews. really.

here is a video of the drama that the SLU seminarians put on, during the pentitential rite [the audio is kinda difficult to understand...but you can get the picture!]:


and so, it was a great week! the cabrini love has been shared, and will continue to thrive, here in baguio city. :) aaaaaaaaa-men. :)

servants and loving hearts.

at vocation week...

some of the novices of the capuchin order, with their formation brother (on the left). they were such a spirited, lively bunch, and i enjoyed spending time with them - hearing their individual vocation stories, talking life and discernment with them, and laughing with them! a lot. so good to be around young people who are actively pursuing their vocation. it's such a gift. :)

i asked them to sing a song so that i could record it, and share their goodness with all of you...and so, here they are! they were so game! enjoy!

* one of the brothers has a brother (biological, haha) who is a priest in queens, though considered part of the diocese of brooklyn. love the connections!

why we do what we do...

here is the prayer/short message, that one of the students read/gave to sr. bernadette and i (yesterday), after we talked to her class about vocation week...she sent it to me! :)

September 13, 2010

To Sister Bernadette and to Ate Crystal,

We would like to truly thank you for sharing your time and rich experiences with us. We have truly learned so much from both of you. Your experiences gave all of us values and insight that have made us realize so much about our calling, profession and vocation. Your dedication and commitment to serve God through missions, and just that fact that you are here gracing us with your presence has blessed all of us so much.

We will continuously pray for your health and we pray that God will bless both of you and keep you. May the Lord's face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the Lord always give you peace.

And in closing, I would like to share this verse with you and with all of us that will hopefully help us in choosing our vocation and calling. It says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future"

Thank you and God bless you both.

~ dea angela

...pretty awesome. good students at SLU. school of nursing, especially, i'm a fan. :)

say not that you are too young.

SLU showed this mini-video before mass tonight. i LOVE it. hope you do too! :) So good. enjoy! so glad i found it online!!

"God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called."

vocation. discernment. calling. and all that good stuff. :)

"yeah, we have not had any religious vocations for Cabrini yet, here in the Philippines. maybe we need to start praying to God in tagalog." ~ sr. terezinha to another sister at vocation week. HAHAHA!


this picture, is the project we did at circles of discernment. it is my "SHAPE for discernment."

S - Spiritual Gifts, H - Heart (Passions), A - Abilities, P - Personality, E - Experiences --> a visual representation if you will, of my SHAPE - a closer look at the inner crystal. let's see what is in store for me. sr. t will be revisiting my SHAPE with me, for the next couple of years that i am here. here we go.

today was the kick off week for vocation week at st. louis university, here in baguio city (not missouri. haha!). there are a number of religious orders from all over the philippines - many religious who traveled from manila, pampanga, tagaytay, different places, just to represent their order at vocation week, here at SLU.

this morning, sr. bernadette and i spoke to one of the theology classes, and it was great! they were a quiet crowd, but they were attentive. very attentive! sr. bernadette opened, and i shared my story about my journey from corporate america --> CMC missioner, and interestingly enough, being in the philippines, and also aware of the many challenges/expectations that many of the college kids here have to go through, i made sure to point that out...which was, the expectation of nursing. haha.

it's kind of just like the "filipino" thing to do. become a nurse. ask a filipino. they will know what you are talking about! growing up, the expectation was that i would be a nurse. well, guess what - i tried, and i failed. legit, FAILED. that was NOT my calling. i shared parts of my mission story with the class this morning, and it was also wonderful to hear sr. bernadette give witness to her story, which led to her discovering her vocation as a religious sister. it was very inspiring, and i was thinking about how fortunate i was, to have the opportunity to share my story and also be a part of vocation week. so good!

in the afternoon, i hung out at the exhibit with sr. terezinha...ate lunch (rice, chicken, and puto) at SLU (by myself. haha it was a sad story. hahaha, looking out the window, being like, "woe is me." haha, not really!), talked with some students, chatted it up with the pauline sisters, and then it was the afternoon class that sr. b and i were assigned to speak at.

it was in the school of nursing, and there were A LOT of students in the class. to facilitate, we had them arrange themselves in a circle, and we had them think about, why did they choose nursing? we then had them share aloud. well, no one did. so what did we do? we picked on people. that's RIGHT! a lot of the responses went like this..."my parents wanted me to...so now, i like it." "my mom, my dad, my brother, my 2 sisters are all nurses...sooo me too." "my sisters would always talk medical terms and watch House and other medical tv shows, and i wanted to know what they were talking about." and THEN, there was another guy that sr. b picked, and he said, "well, i'm starting to think nursing isn't where my calling is. i need God's help." boom.

so then that kicked off our conversation with the theology class on discernment, vocation, listening to your heart, and reminding each person that it is not a competition (each person's call), and truly we, ourselves, are the only ones who can answer our own personal call and understand, and live it to its fullest. so i gave my story, sr. b gave her story, and it was nearing 5pm, everyone was tired...and i was for sure, that half of them had turned into zombies.

BUT...sure enough - one student came up, and said they had written a prayer of thanksgiving for sr. b and me, "ate crystal." and so she read it...it was SO moving. like, really? it was such a blessing to be in the classroom again, and i loved the opportunity to be like a teacher again. even if the students told me at the end of class, that i look just as young as they are. hahaha, she then said it was a compliment. haha, so i took it as that, of course! :) but it was thanking us for sharing our mission stories with them, and she also threw in the quote from jeremiah the "for i have plans for you..." scripture. it was just very special to receive that feedback.

the mass at the end of the day was given by father xavier, sj. yes, jesuit! woot woot! 2 things - 1) he definitely quoted frederick buecher's quote...my fave..."the place where God calls you is where your deep gladness meets the world's greatest need." which i shared with the morning class (of course)! and 2) he ended his homily with father arrupe's quote on, " fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything." he threw in the words, passion, and asked us, what moved you today? who did you talk to today that left a mark with you? what did you notice today?

he shared stories of different religious, and how they made courageous moves in their lives, because of the calling they received...one woman was the only surgeon (a special type of surgeon) in the country, making tons and tons, but quit her job, and is now living a life of simplicity as a religious sister. another story of a woman who was working at the world bank in new york, making tons of money, but quit, because she felt she had to return to the philippines, and she felt at home, once again, this time, as a religious. the number one scholar/basketball player at a college, having an amazing scholarship to pursue studies in neuroscience, leaves it all, to enter seminary...like, what?! well, he did seminary, and they are now providing for him to continue his studies. haha, the priest was like, we can't waste that gifted brain of his (something like that!) yes. this exists, and this is reality, and it was AWESOME. and inspiring. and my brain started thinking.

sr. bernadette shared with a class today that God never gets outdone in generosity. God continues to give, and give, and give, and give, and gives GENEROUSLY, and rewards greatly, especially in moments where there is great challenge, difficulty, and sacrifice/risk made. a courageous heart to answer your call.

what a concept. i'll keep you updated. :)

in the open air

i've never really done "missionary work" in the sense of "preaching the word," with regards to bible studies and going into neighborhoods and leading prayer services. sure, i've led bible studies in college, in high school, i have participated in numerous prayer services in those immediate communities, but i have never outwardly gotten on a jeepney/in a taxi, with music sheets in hand, bible in the bag, and heartfelt determination to lead the community in prayer.

sr. terezinha (people call her sr. theresa cause it's easier!) and i, have started to form a missionary outreach group, serving communities where they have expressed a need/desire to have prayer services/bible studies. for whatever reason, they are not able to make it to the nearest church (which is about 2 jeepney rides away, which equates to a lot of money for them and their family to attend), and so, we have been making it out to their communities. and them, as community leaders, they bring the people, and we bring, well, us. :)

it has been beautiful, in that, today, standing on the roof, having a prayer service, in the open air, the people were already assembled and waiting for our arrival, which was opposed to the last time, where we waited like 20 minutes. they were all set and ready to go this morning! it was beautiful! :) there was heartfelt desire to be there, and despite any language barriers, it didn't matter. it was just, such a good day, and it was so good to be there. sr. t has been inviting others to join our missionary outreach group, to really spread the love of God. we hear a lot about sin this, sin that, but how about the love? can we rest in that love? can we explore that love a little bit more? a little deeper maybe? what would that really feel like? we even ended with giving each other the sign of peace, by way of a hug. it is not a custom here to hug, you don't really see that around a lot - so this was a challenge for them, but by way of human nature, it is in us, and just as the Father hugged his Prodigal Son, so too, are we to hug one another. it was really nice. and beautfiul.

it has been very refreshing, and it is so good to work alongisde sr. t in these efforts. it is very inspirational, and i am looking forward to help lead these communities when she is travelling. i'm going to be leading the elementary kids in an activity this weekend too, since sr. t will be gone, and i'm excited for that also. they're so precious!

when going into these communities, i am already able to see the community involvement, see the community leaders, and see how it is that they will eventually be able to create their own structure as soon as our 2-3 years of mission, has finished here in the philippines. we don't change anything, we don't tell them what to do...we simply share, and be with them, and guide them, and empower. it's all about building up, and psalm 139, and recognizing that, in each and every person. it is, so good.

tao (ta-o) ng Dios.

i spent this morning reading a short story with a boy named ariel. ariel was in a serious car accident in the first grade, and as a result, his mental capacity is not at the level that it should be. well, he is now 17 years old, and since the rest of the students today were at a pretty similar level, they were able to be taught together, but one of the teachers here, asked me if i could read with ariel. so, of course, i agreed. how fun! last time i saw ariel, he was super shy, and he was focused on the computer game he was playing...and i'm pretty sure he did not understand the educational components in it...so the fact that i would have the opportunity to have one-on-one time, YES. however, i did notice that when i was teaching one of the girls some math, he seemed very interested. so, i was happy for this opportunity :)

and so, i helped him read, and tried to actually help him understand what he was reading. he had trouble with many words like, "choose," "check-out line," "strawberries," "aisle" (that dang 's' was throwing him off, of course! oh english language), "happened," various words. so i helped him read, and then i had him write the words, so that we could review them, then i got bored.

but before that, he was also having trouble with the word, "people." so i tried to explain to him people, by telling him the tagalog word, which is tao (accent on the o, like ta-o). the thing ariel does, is i will say something, then he will repeat it, but not really comprehend what he is saying. and so this was not the first time i kept trying to get him to elaborate on the words, so i was like, naming different people, to deliver the message, and he's like, ok, yes. tao. i was like, ok, good...so, naturally, as a teacher, i'm all about repetition, and i was like, so what are people? and he said, "ginawa ng Dios." "Ginawa ng Dios," means, God made them. and THAT, was AWESOME. :)

hahaha, so then i took him outside and made him do stretches...in the best tagalog i could, i tried to explain to him that just as much as he needs to exercise his brain, so that it becomes sharp, it is also important that we exercise our bodies. hahaha, i don't know if we quite got it, except i think he was very confused. but that is ok! :)

so then we get back, and i'm like, hmmm how do you do with math? he said he loves math! so then i started giving him math problems, and i assigned him some math problems to do at home, just simple 4+4 =, 10-3= problems, but he kept asking for more. and so, the teacher in me was more than happy to do it. :)

and then...everyone started getting ready to peace, and naturally i was striking up convos with some of the kids...the next thing you know, i'm telling them they need to come in on wednesday so that i can teach them english. they seemed excited about it, but whether or not they come, i at least got some face time with them, which means...another moment for them to learn to not be so shy with me. woohooo!

it's cherry's birthday today! one of the young women i live with at casa cabrini. woohooo!! which means...delicious food tonight, and the house full of people. YAY! :)

all on mission together!

yes, indeed, a constant reminder to me about mission. here's a video i created on my experience at the maryknoll museum on mission (sorry if you've already seen it! i made this after attending MISO - Maryknoll International Service Orientation, with about 35 other missioners through various Catholic mission programs). i shared this video with the staff at the maryknoll ecological sanctuary out here in baguio, and it was definitely one of the highlights of my time here so far. they got to see what the museum looks like, as it is in new york, at the maryknoll headquarters!

there is such a grand presence of solidarity among all the missions here in baguio city, and it was especially moving when one of the staff members joked, but it was also serious, when she pointed out in the video, one of the "dishes" that people here in the philippines, truly do eat out of...

here is a description on the first image that you will see in the video (written by the author) - Also, Orbis Books is a publication affiliated with Maryknoll, and they provide numerous spiritual books! They are who published the recent book I read on St. Therese of Lisieux. Good Stuff! anyway, read below, it's pretty awesome!:

”I have named this icon 'Christ of Maryknoll' because Maryknoll and Orbis Books mean so much to me. Both endeavor to see the Christ among the least of us, and to serve the Christ who lives in the margins of this world. Maryknoll priests, brothers, sisters, and lay people have been imprisoned in China and elsewhere for their work among the poor, the broken, the oppressed; Orbis has taken great risks to extend the Maryknoll vision. I hope this icon will bring inspiration to all those who share in that vision.

The icon does not make clear which side of the fence Christ is on. Is he imprisoned or are we? Through our cultural institutions and personal lives we all place barriers between ourselves and true happiness. We and our institutions also try to imprison Christ in various ways, to tame him and the dangerous memories he would bring us of our goals and ideals. The Christ of Maryknoll cannot be tamed.”

Robert Lentz, September 11, 2002

hope you enjoy the video! :)

strength for the journey.

before leaving for my mission this year, i attended MISO (Maryknoll International Service Orientation) in Ossining, NY, and i had the opportunity to meet some other missioners, who would also be serving all around the world. it was an amazing blessing to have other friends, also serving on mission this year (some for the next two years, just like me! yay solidarity!)

salesians, JVI, mercy corps, GSV...here is a compilation of some of their blogs. all of our experiences are extremely unique, especially given the international context, and it is so wonderful to see how God takes many shapes in each of these countries...united, we support one another. and we're doing this together. :)

it's pretty remarkable. enjoy!

* let me know if you want me to include your blog here. :)

Angela in Bolivia
Marcos in Bolivia
Monica in Bolivia
Joe in China
Jon in Brazil

Josh in Ethiopia

Ashley in Guyana
Sarah in Guyana
Magdalena in Malaysia
Charles in Micronesia
Mary Elise in Rwanda

no more subways

so today must have been the day of transportation for crystal. ok, let's begin with the day.

first off, i woke up with my heart pounding SUPER SUPER FAST. my room was still super dark, so i was angry that i was awake. i hear the roosters, but moreso, i realized my heart was beating super fast...to the beat of the club-like, trance-like music that was blasting from the jeepney outside that was waiting to pick up passengers!! oh HECK no. that was the first thought that greeted me at 5:10am. soooo thank goodness i was able to get back to sleep!

so then i woke up around 6ish, so that i can greet my taho man...i told him to come this morning at 6:30am (his usual time). well...he didn't come. ok, so i was ok with that. but then, as i was getting ready for my shower, i hear, tahooooooo...like, 4 times. literally. so then i was like, ok, he'll just go away when he sees that i don't come...and then...after telling him NOT to do this last week...he rung the doorbell! haha i got my money, greeted him downstairs, and then, he said his usual, "good morning, ma'm!!" with his super big smile. soooo i only gave him a small filipino talkin' to. it was really nice too because i forgot my mug, and so i was gonna go back into the house, and sure enough, estella met me with a mug in hand. :) such good community! haha...she's also the one who told me, the other night she had a dream that i was so happy with my taho. hahaha, she's having dreams about me and this delicious delicacy! haha!

ok, so then...in the am, i get on two jeepneys to get to work. the 2nd jeepney to work, i hopped into it so quickly, without noticing first there was no one in it. that's like, rule #1. do not get into jeepneys without anyone in it. oops. but i really liked it, and i actually was able to observe my surroundings along the route, a little better. it was like a private vehicle, for the price of a communal vehicle. awesome! i also almost missed my stop, cause i was distracted by the vendors and the people outside already, so early in the am!

work was nice today. i think the biggest challenge today was teaching fractions...in tagalog. YUP. haha, how do you even do that? it didn't matter - i think i got through to them...a little bit. :) that is all i can do! soon i will be teaching them english and how to write essays. awesome!

2nd transportation story...on my way home from mass, i waited about 25 minutes for a jeepney (of course, they were ALL full!) cause it was pouring outside. so then, i was already like, ahhh i'm late for dinner! so i walk to the other loading zone for jeepneys after a failed attempt to get a taxi (i was desperate!)...i was literally dodging the walking traffic, i was walking like i was in new york. and filipinos here walk SLOW, like, dawdle status...i saw heads turn, i heard people like, making noises as i zipped past em, haha, but i did not care. i was hungry, and i didn't want my community to worry about me (it was already dark!), and it was raining. bad combination!

so then, i get to the loading zone, and of course, no jeeps were going to where i needed to go. i squeezed onto one, then had to get off after he said he wasn't going where i needed to go. then i hopped onto another one, caught my breath, then was told i had to get off cause he wasn't going to my place. booooo. so then, i basically had to go to EACH jeepney lined up and ask them if they would stop where i needed to go. FINALLY, i got a yes, ok. immediately, i hopped into the front seat. i did NOT care. pretty bold move, crystal! i looked back, and saw ALL men, probably except for one female, cramped in the back. and then me, having a full two seats to myself in the front. hahahaha, i laughed inside, and after realizing the fact that i jumped in the front and claimed it as my own, i saw the driver do a little smirk to himself. hahaha, and then, some guy jumped in the front next to me. there i was, sandwiched between the driver, and some kid to the right of me. as if we were all family. haha!

hahahha, jesus was sitting on the front engine. i knew it. hahaha...i was actually thinking of a quick escape plan, in CASE of an emergency. there were so many cars, it was raining, and i was not in a good space. hahaha...eventually, i got home, changed really quick, had a delicious dinner, then a beautiful holy hour with the community. even though i got home, and i was like a soggy dog (cause it was POURING), the conclusion of the story, is that i got home. :)

today told me, crystal. nice work. yessssss. jeepneys, i got you.

she said i was "kikay"

today i met a girl named noelle. she is 6 years old. she was sitting at the entrance of SOSCFI, on the soft couches, next to the wooden furniture. the first time i saw her, i was heading out, and so i did my thing, came back, was about to sit down at my desk, then i said to myself, NO crystal.

so then i sat by noelle, asked her what she was reading (in english), and after she gave me this blank, awkward, "why are you talking to me?" stare...i said it in tagalog, and the next thing you know, we were reading the book together! it was so fun!! it was an alphabet book, with 6 words that all started with the same letter...we started with e, and she read, egg, and elephant, among others, and then we went down through to z, where she read zebra and zigzag, and other complicated words that started with 'z'! it was pretty awesome to see how random questions would just come to my mind - additional questions i could ask her about the objects, just to expand her vocabulary a little bit...and at the same time, she would describe the objects in tagalog, or answer my questions in tagalog, which selfishly, and yet, mutually, helped me too. :)

we had to stop mid-way, so i could help someone on the computer, and so i told her i would be back. i didn't really think she even cared or was having fun - i felt like i was having more fun than her...and i ended up taking kinda a long time with the computer project, and the next thing you know, she peeks her head into the doorway, as if to remind me that i was not yet finished with her. it was awesome! haha, and then i turned on music, and i started dancing. and then she was out in the hallway, hiding from me, and dancing too. hahaha! if i have this much fun with a 6 year old...i am more than interested to see what it will be like on saturday when um, A LOT of kids come. :) woohoo!

i was asked if i spoke tagalog, and i said yes, a little bit - cause it's true...i can understand more than i can speak it, but it's starting to roll off my tongue! which is great! yay! but basically i think i'm going to have to be teaching lots in tagalog...and seeing that some of the worksheets were written in tagalog, i was like, uh oh! hahaha, so i have to teach essay writing (subjects: history and science - which, by the way...will be interesting, to say the least!) and other types of values education in tagalog...which is such a parallel to the fact that i am to speak perfect english in casa cabrini because the young women really want to excel with their english skills...sooooo me saying girl, dang, shoot after every other sentence, is NOT going to be helpful for them. hahaha! soooo i need to perfect at least ONE language.

if i had a script of all the thoughts that were in my mind throughout this entire day, i think it would consist of many quotes i heard from MISO training (key nuggets of wisdom!), a lot of internal verbal reflection on cross-cultural experiences and entering new communities, especially on mission, an internal verbal dialogue with gina, my director, mary, and michelle (processing events and my thoughts), and then a quick reminder from sister grace telling me that "rome was not built in a day."

i also thought to myself, boldness. mother cabrini was bold. she had zeal. and i love that. what would mother cabrini do? she had a mission, she did not know where all of her paths would lead...but Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam...for the greater glory of God. in everything. two years. let's do this. together.

thanks for listening. glad we had this talk. :)