pray with archbishop romero

From Archbishop Oscar Romero's Lenten Homily in 1980:
 
This Lent, which we observe amid blood and sorrow, ought to presage a transfiguration of our people, a resurrection of our nation. The church invites us to a modern form of penance, of fasting and prayer… But it should not be out of a mistaken sense of resignation. God does not want that. Rather, feeling in one’s flesh the consequences of sin and injustice, one is stimulated to work for social justice and a genuine love for the poor. Our Lent should awaken a sense of social justice…
 
Let us not let Christ be absent from our history. That is what is most important at this moment in our nation’s history: that Christ be God’s glory and power, and that the scandal of the cross and of pain not make us flee from Christ and cast aside suffering. Instead, let us embrace it…. The great need today is for Christians who are active and critical, who don’t accept situations without analyzing them inwardly and deeply. We no longer want masses of people like those who have been trifled with for so long. We want persons like fruitful fig trees, who can say yes to justice and no to injustice and can make use of the precious gift of life, regardless of the circumstances…

A Church that doesn’t provoke any crises, a gospel that doesn’t unsettle, a word of God that doesn’t get under anyone’s skin, a word of God that doesn’t touch the real sin of the society in which it is being proclaimed – what Gospel is that?

vulnerability

one of my favorite TEDx talks...the power of vulnerability - Dr. Brené Brown. check it out and be inspired!

i remember stumbling upon Dr. Brown's awesomeness back in late '09, I wrote her an email, and then she emailed me back and said:

love your blog (so joyful) and the work you're doing! so happy to be a part of it!

best,
Brené

yay! :) enjoy! check out her blog too: Ordinary Courage

@CabriniAction - Follow Us!

The official Twitter account for the Cabrini Action and Advocacy Coalition (CAAC) --> @CabriniAction is up and running! Follow us!

CAAC is formed under the Stella Maris Province of the Missionary Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus (MSCs) also known as the "Cabrini Sisters" and holds the following corporate stances:

* To SUPPORT the human rights and dignity of all immigrants
* To STOP the trafficking of women and children

Continuing the legacy of St. Frances Xavier Cabrini, Patronness of Immigrants, CAAC boldly stands in active solidarity with all immigrants and trafficked persons, and participates as an active entity in its local and global community towards a world full of justice and love.

on the nightstand!

on monday, we had a free day. YES! which meant...this is going to be crystal's retreat day...meaning i had to ask myself, where can i find a quiet place, with minimal distractions, where i would be comfortable working? one place came to mind - and a text later, contacted my friends over at maryknoll. yes! super productive day. i have st. joseph to thank for that - the man who has witnessed it all.

on my way out, i picked up these two books:

"Each of these great hearts experienced healing and conversion in their encounters with Christ's love; they seek to be transformed in the new creation of the kingdom. We can gladly turn to these two magnetic personalities when we in our own turbulent times seek to reflect on love, sex and marriage." - such an interesting read!

"Young Maryknoll missioners in Asia, Africa, and Latin America give lie to the myth that Generation X is materialistic and self-centered. These moving stories tell of their searches for meaning, the rewards of their new lives of service, and the spirituality that nourishes them." - inspiring!

super good, super relevant, and glad they caught my eye when they did. reading has become a necessary moment in my day. great books so far! :)

more than words

found these pictures. wow. beautiful.

definitely worth checking out.

"Readers submitted photographs from around the world that illustrate the importance of educating girls and empowering women."

A Woman's World - Photographs - NYTimes.com 

women's day!

march 8, international women's day came upon us, and i spent the morning with a rally led by the DSWD (dept. of social welfare) with lots of women's organizations, and then ended my workday by attending a rally put on by the Innabuyog-Gabriela group. :) Innabuyog-Gabriela is an alliance of indigenous women's organizations in the Cordilleras. they are active in issues of VAW (violence against women), human trafficking, immigration issues (especially with the high number of OFWs), and they are bold. first heard about them when i was living in new york, and in my mission here in baguio city, i was able to find out more and spend some time with them.

in pictures, this is how i spent my day!

each barangay (town-community) had a poster for the parade. and yes there was a contest. here are some of the posters led by the women's organizations in some of the barangays:

something like, "don't ignore/pretend it's not happening - GET INVOLVED" 

:)

find out. condemn it/be against it. refuse it! fight it.

no rally is complete, without indigenous community dancing.

exciting things ahead, and i am realizing, wow, there are some pretty awesome communities out there really working hard to make a difference - in a positive way! and they are successful in doing so, also! :)

it's a blessing to have met so many of these community organizers and world changers, and it is such a blessing to be able to call them friends.

ahimsa

today, i went to one of my favorite spots in baguio city to take some time away and to dive more deeply into a book i am currently reading on poverty, celibacy, and obedience. coincidentally enough, i realized today that i was back to the place where i FIRST started reading this book, which was about a year and a half ago, as suggested by sr. cathy, a maryknoll sister, when i approached her upon arrival to the PI. of course, during one of my transition identity crises when i first got here. [ me: "ate cathy - i just, don't know...is there a book that you can recommend me to read?" ...and she hands me one ] clearly, in this past year and a half, this book somehow got put in the bunch of books that i desire to read. but now, i am steadfast in my attempt to finish it!

"O'Murchu claims that the vows are first and foremost about values and not about laws. And in this provocative work he suggests that the Eastern concept of non-violence is a core value of the vowed life in all the monastic traditions known to humankind."

in this book, i came across this passage from joan chittister, and i was moved:

To say that we can possibly minister to the poor and never read a single article on the natinoal debt; to think that we can be moral parts of a global community and never study a thing about the Third World debt; to imagine that we can save the planet and never learn a thing about ecology; to infer that we work to promote the women's issue but never go to a women's conference, read a feminist theologian or spend a minute tracing the history of ideas about women; to say we care about the homeless dying and never say a thing about the evil of homelessness or the lack of medical care for the indigent, smacks of pallid conviction at best. Simply to do things is not enough anymore. Professional education that fits us for particular skills but neglects to prepare a person for dealing with the great questions of human life is not enough anymore. The world needs thinkers who take thinking as a spiritual discipline. Anything else may well be denial practiced in the name of religion. ( Joan Chittister)

and with that, i do desire to learn more and to be effective in my journey as a leader and follower in the various communities i am placed in. in this world, there is so much to learn and i am blessed to have a heart that is ready to be stretched!

be complete

Do not love half lovers

Do not entertain half friends
Do not indulge in works of the half talented
Do not live half a life and do not die a half death

If you choose silence, then be silent

When you speak, do so until you are finished
Do not silence yourself to say something
And do not speak to be silent

If you accept, then express it bluntly
Do not mask it

If you refuse then be clear about it 
for an ambiguous refusal
is but a weak acceptance

Do not accept half a solution

Do not believe half truths

Do not dream half a dream

Do not fantasize about half hopes

Half a drink will not quench your thirst

Half a meal will not satiate your hunger

Half the way will get you no where

Half an idea will bear you no results

Your other half is not the one you love
It is you in another time yet in the same space

It is you when you are not

Half a life is a life you didn't live,
A word you have not said

A smile you postponed
A love you have not had
A friendship you did not know

To reach and not arrive
Work and not work

Attend only to be absent

What makes you a stranger to them closest to you

and they strangers to you

The half is a mere moment of inability

but you are able for you are not half a being

You are a whole that exists
to live a life not half a life

Gibran Khalil Gibran

just another step

and still, a year and a half later on mission in the philippines, emotion continues to run high - most times, usually more than one, which makes it sometimes difficult for the libra in me who desires balance at all times

.it's been a stressful week with lots of activity going on in the ministry - lots of planning, lots of preparation, just lots of things to do, lots of running around, lots of follow-up with people who i'm pretty sure look at their received text messages and don't respond, and well, that only adds to the frustration when trying to get things done within a time crunch. but needless to say, i learn to deal with it. with more activity going on with the baguio festivities that completed this past week, i can honestly say i don't want anything to do with large crowds of people or chaotic noise around me for a LONG time. seriously! yesterday and today, i dragged myself out of bed at 11am. that NEVER happens. but, my body totally needed it, for sure. exhaustion - i think that's the word.

HALT - hungry? angry? lonely? tired? um, probably all of the above, except for the hungry part, because i am trying to be more healthy about my unhealthy eating habits that i have developed here on the MSG-induced island of the philippines. :) i've noticed i have been angry a lot - but not so much angry, more like frustrated with false hopes that i have come to realize. just when things SEEM to be getting better and we seem to be making some progress, perhaps it is NOT quite there yet. and i definitely got to the point where i started going off in verbal vomit to one of my close friends because of this frustration. then, after five minutes, i sat on the sidewalk and continued to eat my siomai that i had with me. in silence. i needed time. then of course, 2 minutes later, my two cousins walk by, and they just had good timing. thank you Jesus! :) haha, i definitely got the lungs of my Reyes family roots where i can do that, but after i say what i gotta say, then i'm good to go. pretty sure those around me have come to understand me in that sense. thank God for loving people surrounding me! :)

lonely. not so much lonely, but the reality that i am not going to be here forever in the philippines is starting to catch up to me and my reflection on missionary life and its transient nature continues (i think it will always serve me with contemplative thought). more times in the past two weeks have people been asking me when i am going to leave, because they say they need to emotionally prepare for this. which gets ME thinking, crap, ME TOO! i need to prepare myself...but until then, lots more to do, and before i know it, i'm going to have to leave the philippines. what? is this real life?

i am reminded: "a missioner goes where he/she is needed but not wanted, and stays until he/she is wanted, but not needed" - pretty much one of my favorite quotes from the maryknoll family...

and then, onto the next step in life. :)

tired. for sure. totally tired - i get up at 6am, try to wake up my body with some yoga in the am, get ready for work, out of the door at 7:30, work at 8 which usually involves doing some organizing and planning and corresponding, then usually running errands mid-day, then on my way home around 5ish, then mass sometimes, then dinner, then prayer and then crystal catch-up-with-my-life time around 8:30pmish. and then repeat. of course, everyday is different but it usually involves some sort of being tired. it's just always constantly having to be aware and alert of surroundings at all times too. that gets exhausting! and getting around! and dodging cars and making sure you don't get run over. yeah, gotta watch out for that one.

anyway, on my super frustrated day that i had, i received this quote in my inbox:

Today, notice if you have a "chip on your shoulder," confronting and intimidating others to get your way. Can you tone down the aggressiveness and still find a way to be effective?

clearly, the unhealthy "8" in me was winning. and i was thinking to myself, "Crystal. Stop being so combative." haha, that happens from time to time when i get really riled up. i had to change my mindset, immediately! the frustration with the situation around me was affecting me, and i had to stop myself immediately. can NOT let negative energy permeate within me. it's just not healthy, and it is not what i need, nor do i function well in those situations, clearly! i'm starting to think i am the epitome of an 8, but i LOVE when i healthily venture to the direction of the 2. :)

we had adoration that night, which is what i totally needed, and i was thankful for that. two things specifically stuck out to me:

one:  That body of goodness [life of Jesus] clashes with the evil and sin of the world. This causes pain, and suffering, scorn and injustice. All this Jesus accepted without trying to dodge it when he discovered it to be entailed in his mission.
WOW.

then, during prayer, we chose different scrolls that were in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and just picked one which contained "a message" for us. i chose the yellow (of course!) scroll, and in it, was this verse from Hebrews 10:23-24. It read, Let us hold unwaveringly to our confession that gives us hope, for he who made the promise is trustworthy. We must consider how to rouse one another to love and good works.

As soon as I read this scripture, I thought to myself, Jesus knew that he would experience pain, and suffering, and scorn and injustice, but still, he persevered in his mission because he trusted God in it, and what was Jesus doing, as he continued on the road to Calvary? STILL, Jesus was comforting the women, STILL, he was loving others. This was a message for me to persevere, to continue, and while there would be these difficulties in mission, I am not to dodge it or act out in anger and frustration, but rather, to continue my mission to rouse one another to love and good works, while trying the best i can, to do so myself.

sure, emotion is sometimes difficult to work through, and there are sometimes five different things that are on my mind at one time, and yeah that is exhausting in itself too, but, the peace comes, and i know i can look forward to the moments when i realize it has been there all along.

this was especially a good reminder for me that i received two days ago:

Grief work is very helpful for Eights. You are not the kind of person to sit around feeling sorry for yourself for long, but if you are suffering, it is important to find meaningful ways of grieving your losses and hurts. 

i think i'm in the midst of finding those ways, and it is all part of a blessed process. 

and to close, i leave you with Hebrews 6:10, For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love you have demonstrated for his name by having served and continuing to serve the holy ones. 

pardon all of the "8" and "2" references...all part of the enneagram :) learn more here - http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/ 

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You can work miracles by having faith in others. By choosing to think and believe the best about people, you are able to bring out the best in them. ~ Bob Moawad

...and perhaps we can be instrumental in spreading the positive energy to those around us!