you've been Called/be Confident/be Competent/be Collaborative/be Candid/be Caring/CELEBRATE!
every day we've been here, we pretty much have notes full of helpful sayings, inspirational quotes, and different things to remember...the seven C's were given to us from a principal that has worked with many inner cities school for the past 2 decades pretty much, so i would say he's pretty wise. despite the fact that he was straight up staring at me as i nodded off to sleep, i was still able to jot down those 7 ideas and they are money. it's good stuff.
we had rita's italian ice last night and it was absolutely delicious. mango...AND...SWEDISH FISH flavor, RIGHT? shoot, so good. ok, i digress. relationships are an interesting thing..this has been something that has been constantly coming up. not so much in the romantic relationship setting, cause let's be honest, there hasn't really been anything super exciting or worth mentioning here, in my life, but just in general, relationships have been quite the theme here. perhaps because there is fear in maintaining relationships because people are far away from the bfs/gfs, or just their friends in general... it's a really fragile thing. it's a good one too.
it's really um, "interesting," for lack of a better word, when i hear myself talk about the past relationships i have been in, or the past types of males that i have allowed to take a couple hours of my time in the recent months. for one, it makes me feel a little old, and number two, i blame it on the fact that i was in LA. but i don't really blame it, because i LOVE LA and all that was included in it. no regrets!
looking back, i really think i have grown a lot, and i am still growing, and this has definitely helped me determine who is worth my time and who is not...which leads me to where i am now. there's just not enough hours in the day to shoot the shit with people who may drain me of my joy, life, or energy. as simple and as beautiful as that, it is non-negotiable. sorry buddy. BOOM. :) maybe that's just my explanation or what i tell myself to feel better about myself to make me think that there's nothing wrong with me, but really, it is what it is, and if you know me, you know i'm doing quite lovely. :) praise God for that.
and i think i also came to the conclusion that i have entered this life of service, and i don't see myself exiting. sooo...what that means, i'll leave it at that. and...on that note, here we go!!
holiness is faithfulness, holiness is joy...
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
if You want me to...
ain't about how fast i get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other side...
i swear the days have gotten longer. like, straight up longer. i don't even know what day it is, and i have been catching myself nodding off to sleep. like, straight up trying my best to open my eyes from a .7 second nap only to find the teacher staring right at me. BOOM. caught. i swear, that happened probably like 10 times...in like 1 half hour session, but honestly, shoot. girl is TIRED.
we're starting to look into ways to assess the students...grading - how am i going to weight the different assignments? yeah...i need to remind myself not to take out my aggression and frustration with my past teachers' grading systems, onto my future students. mwahaha, no i wouldn't do that. it's funny because while i have already been brainstorming different assignments, my first one will be to bring in your favorite quote - a quote that inspires you. HAHAHA shocking, right? it's gonna be great! yipppeee!! my room will be a refuge for pure inspiration and wellness. :)
i swaer each day is jam-packed with different things to do, and now we have like 4 hours of free time...well, it's not exactly free time, we have things we are supposed to do, but i am taking advantage of this and using it to satisfy my technology thrist via google. i am supposed to be preparing a role play for teaching assessments, but that can wait. this is more important. :) haha it's funny - the minute we don't have things to do, we like don't know what to do with ourselves.
music has been my sanctuary and after putting on a sweet prayer workshop with michelle on prayer and reflection on our fears for our upcoming school year, i am beginning to get more and more excited about my role in campus ministry. i get the awesome opportunity to teach in the classroom, and be a campus minister to the school. excellent!
in this time of transitions, there are a lot...and we went over them today as a group. easily, these may be translated into fears...here's a little insight for you on the general case of the group...fear of maintaining relationships, oversight/forgetting, feelings of inadequancy and not being good enough, fear of homesickness, fear of not getting students to the next grade level, fear of living in community, fear of the transitions...transitions being...from the west coast to the east coast (that would be me.), from salary (5 digits) to stipend (3 digits), from picking your roommates to having your community chosen for you, from suburbs to city, from role as student to role as teacher, from eating out to cooking your own food (yeah, i might die), from circumstantial situations to being intentional in community...the list goes on. regardless, they are all transitions that we have been dealing with.
it's a lot of stress, but a lot of healthy stress too. why did God want us to be here? it is that constant reminder and the trust that keeps us here and got us here. some of my friends out here have yet to be placed in schools, but they're moving into their sites in 2 weeks. it's pure craziness, but it's pure faith too. a lot of it. a strong sense of it. sooo that is that. :o)
Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired" ~Mother Teresa
i swear the days have gotten longer. like, straight up longer. i don't even know what day it is, and i have been catching myself nodding off to sleep. like, straight up trying my best to open my eyes from a .7 second nap only to find the teacher staring right at me. BOOM. caught. i swear, that happened probably like 10 times...in like 1 half hour session, but honestly, shoot. girl is TIRED.
we're starting to look into ways to assess the students...grading - how am i going to weight the different assignments? yeah...i need to remind myself not to take out my aggression and frustration with my past teachers' grading systems, onto my future students. mwahaha, no i wouldn't do that. it's funny because while i have already been brainstorming different assignments, my first one will be to bring in your favorite quote - a quote that inspires you. HAHAHA shocking, right? it's gonna be great! yipppeee!! my room will be a refuge for pure inspiration and wellness. :)
i swaer each day is jam-packed with different things to do, and now we have like 4 hours of free time...well, it's not exactly free time, we have things we are supposed to do, but i am taking advantage of this and using it to satisfy my technology thrist via google. i am supposed to be preparing a role play for teaching assessments, but that can wait. this is more important. :) haha it's funny - the minute we don't have things to do, we like don't know what to do with ourselves.
music has been my sanctuary and after putting on a sweet prayer workshop with michelle on prayer and reflection on our fears for our upcoming school year, i am beginning to get more and more excited about my role in campus ministry. i get the awesome opportunity to teach in the classroom, and be a campus minister to the school. excellent!
in this time of transitions, there are a lot...and we went over them today as a group. easily, these may be translated into fears...here's a little insight for you on the general case of the group...fear of maintaining relationships, oversight/forgetting, feelings of inadequancy and not being good enough, fear of homesickness, fear of not getting students to the next grade level, fear of living in community, fear of the transitions...transitions being...from the west coast to the east coast (that would be me.), from salary (5 digits) to stipend (3 digits), from picking your roommates to having your community chosen for you, from suburbs to city, from role as student to role as teacher, from eating out to cooking your own food (yeah, i might die), from circumstantial situations to being intentional in community...the list goes on. regardless, they are all transitions that we have been dealing with.
it's a lot of stress, but a lot of healthy stress too. why did God want us to be here? it is that constant reminder and the trust that keeps us here and got us here. some of my friends out here have yet to be placed in schools, but they're moving into their sites in 2 weeks. it's pure craziness, but it's pure faith too. a lot of it. a strong sense of it. sooo that is that. :o)
Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired" ~Mother Teresa
Sunday, August 2, 2009
i had little stars in my chicken soup
Sweet Savior, help my unbelief...
so, here i am - 1:33pm on 8/2/09. michelle and i are with the sisters today at the convent because we have some laundry we needed to do...the other teachers were doing community building stuff at the seminary, and since we are missing one of our missioners, here we are enjoying ourselves on the computers! mwahahahaha...anddd we're putting on a prayer workshop tonight, so we're excited about that. woohoo! oh campus ministers at their finest.
when we got here this morning, after some excellent girl talk, it was pouring like crazy. it was a straight up storm, lightning, thunder, and the convent was all dark because they turned off the lights and we were all huddled in the living room. me, mich, sister grace, and sister mary lou were all super tired and we ended up all taking a nap...a half hour nap, then lunchtime...chicken soup with stars, spaghetti, vegetables, delicious bread, pink lemonade, ice cream, cookies, and chocolates. YUP. :)
the past few days have been full of more and more training - 9am-6pm to be exact, give or take a couple of extra hours - how to manage your classroom, how to put on classroom procedures, how to put together a lesson plan, and how to be a positive, effective teacher...merely a facilitator of learning, and learning how to help cultivate the learning environment for our students. our inner-city students.
yes, they may have uniforms, but we don't know what their homes are like. well, we actually probably do...i'm learning more and more about the dominican republic culture because most of my students will be dominican republic and african american. i'm teaching in washington heights, which means, my eyes will be opened in such a new way, and my heart is ready than ever to embrace it all and see what this looks like.
it is such a blessing to be around 25 other excited and passionate recent grads who want to make change in the world...who want to see a change in the educational system and want to make a difference in the students' lives. it's funny, as i have never really been fond of the classroom, or the classroom setting, or education...and here i am in the midst of discovering that yes, i get to have a first hand influence in helping shape the education of young people i have yet to meet. i can't believe i have been given that responsibility, and it is an absolutely wonderful one.
my mom asked me yesterday if i missed work. i said nope. and that, that, is how i know this is where i'm supposed to be. it is a good feeling to know that i am trusted to handle a classroom of 30 young girls...teaching them health. HAHAHA. i love it. absolutely.
it has been also very enriching to tell my fellow volunteers here, about my past two years in the corporate world. it brought up conversations on passion, and listening to your heart, and setting priorities. the fact that i get to be in a classroom and serve this purpose is such an enriching one, a great one. some people can sell coupons and advertising with no difficulty and that is where they're called to be, but doesn't look like that's what was in my Plan. i see change, and hope, and who knows where this will lead me.
all i know is what i'm doing this year, but after, it really is up to God. there is a whole world out here waiting to be fed, and i want to be my absolute best i can, to find where i can serve and give of myself. to be able to surrender to that though, is where the challenge comes. challenging, but rewarding. i can't bring money with me to heaven...nor would i want to.
i remember my friend telling me, as i was having difficulty packing, he said, " enjoy not having to look good. " hmm...
the past few nights a bunch of us have been going to explore the philadelphia city life. beer and all. we all know i hate beer...welllll looks like there will have to be a change in that opinion...i may start to acquire that taste and i don't like it, but i guess i'm getting there.
i'm meeting wonderful people, and it is so encouraging to see us all growing at different paces, but also finding that our intentions are really very similar - nowhere can you really be, where after the first full day, our whole group swears we are all besties. it's the craziest thing, but such a beautiful thing too. it has been hard without the internet - we're all pretty much going crazy over here, but we get our ish done - thanks to some people's iPhones and what not. of course, the LA kids. shoot.
so there we go my friends. thanks for coming along on this journey with me...every time i am in class, i have a moment and i'm like, ah i want to blog about that idea...and sure enough, it escapes me. oh well. :)
don't let anyone ever tell you...you are anything less than beautiful. <3
so, here i am - 1:33pm on 8/2/09. michelle and i are with the sisters today at the convent because we have some laundry we needed to do...the other teachers were doing community building stuff at the seminary, and since we are missing one of our missioners, here we are enjoying ourselves on the computers! mwahahahaha...anddd we're putting on a prayer workshop tonight, so we're excited about that. woohoo! oh campus ministers at their finest.
when we got here this morning, after some excellent girl talk, it was pouring like crazy. it was a straight up storm, lightning, thunder, and the convent was all dark because they turned off the lights and we were all huddled in the living room. me, mich, sister grace, and sister mary lou were all super tired and we ended up all taking a nap...a half hour nap, then lunchtime...chicken soup with stars, spaghetti, vegetables, delicious bread, pink lemonade, ice cream, cookies, and chocolates. YUP. :)
the past few days have been full of more and more training - 9am-6pm to be exact, give or take a couple of extra hours - how to manage your classroom, how to put on classroom procedures, how to put together a lesson plan, and how to be a positive, effective teacher...merely a facilitator of learning, and learning how to help cultivate the learning environment for our students. our inner-city students.
yes, they may have uniforms, but we don't know what their homes are like. well, we actually probably do...i'm learning more and more about the dominican republic culture because most of my students will be dominican republic and african american. i'm teaching in washington heights, which means, my eyes will be opened in such a new way, and my heart is ready than ever to embrace it all and see what this looks like.
it is such a blessing to be around 25 other excited and passionate recent grads who want to make change in the world...who want to see a change in the educational system and want to make a difference in the students' lives. it's funny, as i have never really been fond of the classroom, or the classroom setting, or education...and here i am in the midst of discovering that yes, i get to have a first hand influence in helping shape the education of young people i have yet to meet. i can't believe i have been given that responsibility, and it is an absolutely wonderful one.
my mom asked me yesterday if i missed work. i said nope. and that, that, is how i know this is where i'm supposed to be. it is a good feeling to know that i am trusted to handle a classroom of 30 young girls...teaching them health. HAHAHA. i love it. absolutely.
it has been also very enriching to tell my fellow volunteers here, about my past two years in the corporate world. it brought up conversations on passion, and listening to your heart, and setting priorities. the fact that i get to be in a classroom and serve this purpose is such an enriching one, a great one. some people can sell coupons and advertising with no difficulty and that is where they're called to be, but doesn't look like that's what was in my Plan. i see change, and hope, and who knows where this will lead me.
all i know is what i'm doing this year, but after, it really is up to God. there is a whole world out here waiting to be fed, and i want to be my absolute best i can, to find where i can serve and give of myself. to be able to surrender to that though, is where the challenge comes. challenging, but rewarding. i can't bring money with me to heaven...nor would i want to.
i remember my friend telling me, as i was having difficulty packing, he said, " enjoy not having to look good. " hmm...
the past few nights a bunch of us have been going to explore the philadelphia city life. beer and all. we all know i hate beer...welllll looks like there will have to be a change in that opinion...i may start to acquire that taste and i don't like it, but i guess i'm getting there.
i'm meeting wonderful people, and it is so encouraging to see us all growing at different paces, but also finding that our intentions are really very similar - nowhere can you really be, where after the first full day, our whole group swears we are all besties. it's the craziest thing, but such a beautiful thing too. it has been hard without the internet - we're all pretty much going crazy over here, but we get our ish done - thanks to some people's iPhones and what not. of course, the LA kids. shoot.
so there we go my friends. thanks for coming along on this journey with me...every time i am in class, i have a moment and i'm like, ah i want to blog about that idea...and sure enough, it escapes me. oh well. :)
don't let anyone ever tell you...you are anything less than beautiful. <3
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