jeans and sneakers.

something to think about... :) 

WE NEED SAINTS
by Pope John Paul II

We need saints without veil or cassock.
We need saints who wear jeans and sneakers.
We need saints who go to the movies, listen to music and hang out with friends.
We need saints who put God in first place, but who let go of their power.
We need saints who have time everyday to pray and who know how to date in purity and chastity, or who consecrate their chastity.
We need modern saints, Saints of the 21st century with a spirituality that is part of our time.
We need saints committed to the poor and the necessary social changes.
We need saints who live in the world and who are sanctified in the world, who are not afraid to live in the world.
We need saints who drink Coke and eat hot dogs, who wear jeans, who are Internet-savvy, who listen to CDs.
We need saints who passionately love the Eucharist and who are not ashamed to drink a soda or eat pizza on weekends with friends.
We need saints who like movies, the theater, music, dance, sports.
We need saints who are social, open, normal, friendly, happy and who are good companions.
We need saints who are in the world and know how to taste the pure and nice things of the world but who aren’t of the world.

Courtesy of: 10th Palo Archdiocesan Summer Youth Camp

Population [more than me]

May we be challenged this Advent season, to look outside of our comfortable, wrapped up world, and seek something or someone greater than ourselves.

"My Own Little World" - Matthew West

In my own little world it hardly ever rains

I've never gone hungry or always felt safe

I got some money in my pocket shoes on my feet

In my own little world

Population me

I try to stay awake through the Sunday morning church

I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give 'til it hurts

and I turn off the news when I don't like what I see

it's easy to do when it's

population me

What if there's a bigger picture

What if I'm missing out

What if there's a greater purpose

I could be living right now

Outside my own little world

Stopped at the red light, looked out my window

Outside the car, saw a sign, said "Help this homeless widow"

Just above this sign was the face of a human

I thought to myself, "God, what have I been doing?"

So I rolled down my window and I looked her in the eye

Oh how many times have I just passed her by

I gave her some money then I drove on through

in my own little world there's

Population two

What if there's a bigger picture

What if I'm missing out

What if there's a greater purpose

I could be living right now

Outside my own little world

Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours

Give me open hands and open doors

Put Your light in my eyes and let me see

That my own little world is not about me

 

freshmen 101 keepin' it real

Yesterday, I had the great opportunity to attend the launch of two social justice/communication sites of a freshman communications course here at Cabrini College. Taught by Dr. Jerry Zurek, from the Comm department, one of the most inspiring mentors and educators that I have had (and he was never even my teacher! - clearly, i'm not saying this for a grade!), I left the class motivated and even more affirmed with the work that I was doing. Moreso, it made me even more hopeful for the upcoming generations! There is great work being done out there, but unfortunately the media does not highlight that "good stuff" as much.

BUT - this class of Comm 101 freshmen are heading in a GREAT direction.

The longer I am here at the college, the more I am impressed by the curriculum that engages students in issues of justice right off the bat - beginning in freshman year. Jerry's part in this? He integrates his course work with social justice issues, and provides students with the opportunity to explore different ways of using communication (esp via social media) to promote awareness and raise consciousness about these perpetual societal problems.

Awesome? um, YES! Cabrini College also holds a course called, "Photography for Social Change." Unreal!

Conflict-Free Minerals

One of the groups developed a Facebook page, Clean Cabrini, which raised issues about conflict-minerals, which are defined as: "Minerals used in cell-phones that cause conflict between human rights groups and cell-phone companies." Perhaps you have heard of conflict diamonds...same sort of thing. If you have ever seen Blood Diamond, then you may have captured a Hollywood glimpse of what really happens behind the diamonds that so many people wear (unknowing of the lives that suffered as a result of the rock on your finger. something to think about!)

This group has the goal of making Cabrini College a conflict-free campus, and to influence other colleges to make the same choice. The Congo is the #1 poorest country in the world, and with the number of mines that are in the area, many in the population work in these conditions, receiving unjust wage and treatment.

Food Justice

The second group developed a blog entitled, Cabrini Food Justice, again, to educate and promote awareness of this issue that may not be at the forefront of our lives. We all need food live, but how many of us are really conscious of what makes up our intake? Fair treatment for the worker, the consumer, and the planet - that is food justice. What does this look like for Cabrini, and how can we as a community take the right steps towards healthier, more just food options on campus?

This group did a great job with their presentation, as well as with their audio-visual material, really emphasizing the climate of the food industry in poor conditions. You can check out the video here.

In listening to these presentations, something I jotted down in my notes was, "hearing about these issues (re: conflict minerals) make me lose my appetite. as if there's a pit in my stomach somewhere...--> we must do something about it!" For me, I find that it is those thoughts that give me indicators as to where I want to go with my future actions and with how I live my life. If there is something that moves me, that causes a shift in my emotion, affecting me in some way, I need to pay attention to that. No matter what that is. Definitely takes time to explore, but it is something to pay attention to.

In this case, it's issues of social justice. I think the beautiful part of this specifically, is integrating the academics of communication and joining it together with social justice. What are the ways that we can use our majors/areas of study to create positive social change? to start movements? to think differently of what could be?

Call it what you want - I was inspired and also challenged to take more socially-conscious steps in doing my small part towards creating a more just society.

My hope is that these students will not lose hope, but that they will continue to use their passion to drive them forward, and bring others along board with them. Sometimes people just don't know about these issues around the world. I certainly didn't know a lot of the details and information that they shared with me and the class, and so I was grateful! So many issues out there to explore and get involved with, and it's nice to see what happens when faithful people come together to bring about positive change.

I believe that having information holds responsibility and sometimes, many times, it is meant to be shared, especially with regards to these issues. What I mean by that is, because of research about different issues, especially about the horrendous situation of human trafficking, the stories, hard facts, perhaps that is what has stirred up emotion and passion for others in wanting to join in bringing an end to this atrocity. If we are aware of situations of human trafficking going on, we need to bring that to attention. So many times we don't want to step on anybody's toes in sharing information with them - things we found interesting in class, or super informative websites that we happened to stumble upon, for fear of what others may think of us (what? he/she's totally talking about something other than college drama?)...but - dialogue and sharing of information is key - especially when these things relate to the global community.

and seriously though, what better way to do that, than through social media? :)

Living Martyrdom

Today in my "Give Us This Day"  book of daily readings and reflections, the following write-up on Maura Clarke and Companions was included for today, Dec. 4, 2012:

Christ of Maryknoll by Br. Robert Lentz, OFM

Check out the meaning of the "Christ of Maryknoll"

Blessed Among Us

Maura Clarke and Companions
Martyrs of El Salvador (d. 1980)

On a December morning in 1980 a small assembly gathered in a cow pasture in El Salvador to witness the exhumation of four North American women. One by one their broken and disheveled bodies were dragged from the shallow grave: Maura Clarke and Ita Ford, both Maryknoll Sisters; Dorothy Kazel, an Ursuline Sister; and Jean Donovan, a lay missioner. They had been killed on December 2 by Salvadoran soldiers, who had taken them to a secluded spot, raped two of them, and then shot them in the head.

Each woman had followed a different path: Maura and Ita, with many years in mission in Nicaragua and Chile; Dorothy, the longest in El Salvador; Jean Donovan, only twenty-seven, who had wrestled with the possibility of marriage and a lucrative career before choosing, instead, to remain in El Salvador. But for each one, called by Christ to live out her faith in solidarity with the poor, the path had led to the same cow pasture.

In these nightmare years in El Salvador, thousands of civilians were killed by security forces on suspicion of “subversion.” Representatives of the Church who embraced the “option for the poor,” including these women, shared the same fate. Witnesses to the cross, they joined a long line of witnesses to the resurrection.

“Several times I have decided to leave—I almost could except for the children. . . . Who would care for them? Whose heart would be so staunch as to favor the reasonable thing in a sea of their tears and loneliness? Not mine.” - Jean Donovan

 --

These four women were living mission, so much that they died on mission. Every time I read accounts on this tragedy in El Salvador among well-intentioned, commissioned and blessed women, I get the chills at the conditions of their martyrdom, and at the same time, I also feel boldly motivated to continue making steps in the area of my passions.

The martyrdom of these women is truly an inspiration in that they pursued their work, with their keystone being, they were called by Christ. The life of a missioner is not easy - no life is, but it is certainly a grace to experience and be given the strength and perseverance to keep going, one day at a time, especially when living and working with the "poorest of the poor." I have always believed that while God loves all His children, He especially is close to the poor. And for that, it is those who choose to join Him in his work by comforting the poor, serving them, being with them, and loving them, that they will experience Christ in a radical, life-changing, and very real way.

--

Lastly, two of my friends, Marc and Lexie Adams, will soon be embarking on their new adventure as Maryknoll Lay Missioners to Cochabamba, Bolivia. With hearts so full of love and service, they will be having their send-off ceremony next week, along with the other MLMs who will be serving all over the globe. Please keep them in your prayers, as well as the communities that will be receiving them, that the Holy Spirit may guide their mission, and that there may be comfort in knowing that Jesus will be walking always before them. Check out their blog to learn more and to be inspired. Gifted and talented as individuals, and when joined together, what a beautiful, blessed couple indeed! What grace!

Work on the missions demands that you undergo a martyrdom- if not a real one, at least a living one. - Maryknoll Pole at the Maryknoll Museum of Living Mission, Ossining NY (another Maryknoll-related blog post here)

mission everyday!

Today is the feast day of one of my most favorite saints,

St. Francis Xavier, SJ, the patron saint of foreign missions.

www.happysaints.com

 Co-founder of the Society of Jesus (Jesuits), bff of Ignatius of Loyola, and super influential figure of inspiration to Mother Cabrini...today is his feast day! St. Francis Xavier died on Dec. 3, 1552. His body was incorrupt, was re-buried at various sites (dang, missionary life never ends!), and his right forearm - that which he used to bless and baptize the people whom he served on mission, was detached and preserved as a relic.

The dangers to which I am exposed and the tasks I undertake for God are springs of spiritual joy, so much so that these islands are the places in all the world for a man to lose his sight by excess of weeping; but they are tears of joy. - St. Francis Xavier, SJ

i know at least for me, Sister T and I looked to St. Francis Xavier a bunch during our days on mission in baguio city. i would recall how Sister T and I prepared families with knowledge and awareness of the sacrament of baptism at least a month or two prior to them actually receiving the sacrament and really emphasizing the importance of it, making sure they understood what they were doing. that it wasn't just an act with no meaning...well, we tried our best! and of course, come baptism day, those people came to receive the sacrament, as well as others from the community (some who we never met before!)....it was then that Sr. T and I would look at each other, and be like, "welp! what are you gonna do? let's just baptize em all!" our priest then did the duty, and we would just be smiling and uplifted the whole time! who are we to refuse Jesus to anyone? by no means are we gatekeepers, but we certainly had to grow into more faithful prayer warriors that the Holy Spirit would fill in the blanks and translate our english and broken tagalog into their ilokano and ibaloi dialect. :)

Today, may we wake up the bold and vigilant spirit inside of us to serve and love others in the most complete and fullest ways that we are able. there's no time to lose - there's a great world out there.

on praying to the saints:

as Timothy Cardinal Dolan said, "In prayer, we always go to Jesus. Sometimes we bring friends with us."

prepare the way

all will be well.

today i spent some time reflecting on the order of events over the past few months - where i've been, the people i have met, how situations fit together and finally unfolded in bringing me here, to where i am today. still in the process of making sense of it all, it's all part of my life story that i know i could not have creatively crafted on my own.

today is the first sunday of Advent, and what a special, beautiful beginning. it is a period of waiting, hoping, anticipating, celebrating the sacred, and eagerly looking forward to the birth of Jesus! how awesome! 

but back up - that word: waiting...is sometimes very difficult to do, and it may be one of the greatest challenges to be learned and overcome during this time of Advent. so many times we want to rush - i know for myself, that's a problem that i sometimes find myself in. we [i] want answers quick - there's no time to fully process things. time is money, folks! the faster, the better. a packet of 3-in-1 coffee (for you filipinos out there) is much more efficient and easier than investing in instant coffee, powdered milk, and sugar, AND the containers that those will need to be placed in. naman!

sure, we are trained patience by society [and sometimes not] - we fall into a line when we are purchasing things, we follow the order in traffic, though some people take extra liberties over others and exercise their sense of entitlement, but, that very concept of waiting...i think we can all learn to be healthier in living that. i know i can certainly speak for myself in that regard!

when i was in chicago last month for my re-entry workshop (blog entry here), someone asked me how long i have been back from my mission in the PI. after she asked me, i answered pretty quickly without even taking a breath, and said, "oh, about 9 months now." so content with my reply, it just slid off my tongue - so naturally so, just stating the fact. it was then that i took a second of reflection in my mind, and said, "wait, actually, let me think..." i held out my left hand, and started counting, "july, august, september, october...-oh shoot! i think i've only been back 4 months from the Philippines? oh shoot, and i just got back from swaziland in early october." ....what? "soooo basically, i've been back 4 months from the PI, and a little over two months back in the US from those travels." 

THAT - was a reality check.

it made me realize: crystal, you have only been back four months from living two years overseas, living intense missionary life. why are you in such a hurry to have answers? does everything in your life have to be in their own separate compartments, boxed up and tied up with a perfect, pink bow? slow down...take.some.time. give yourself time. ...of course, with that, means, tuning out the external pressures of the voices surrounding me telling me that i need to have answers now.

but, thinking back, that very answer, 9 months. wow. i think about what that number signifies, and it occurred to me, that essentially, i feel like a re-birth is taking place in me...very much in line with this 1st sunday of Advent, signifying the beginning of a time of waiting and patience. 

perhaps i said 9 months because basically that's what's going on - i'm re-learning things, re-connecting with relationships from the past that i left behind, learning how to make new ones as a healthier and more mature young adult, getting familiar with my new role in ministry, feeling out my limbs if you will, and seeing how they do in this new geographic location, the list goes on. and that's exactly what's happening. it's a period of re-birth and growing into the place where i find myself today.

as troubling and as uncomfortable as this place may be, i see it indeed as being brought back to the womb of playing around in gunky acids and growing into a person, until i am able to be released and see light in the form in which it was intended for me.  at least, for now. maybe this place isn't so bad after all.

and, this time, is my playtime. while this is definitely the "liminal time" - the undetermined, awkward middle ground of transition, i figure if i can put it into a different perspective, then i will do just that! this is my playtime. it is a chance to discover, re-discover, and uncover the things that i enjoy doing, and i get to re-learn and possibly get a chance to undo some of the learnings that i have been trained to believe in. i can be me.

on this first Sunday of Advent, in this time of waiting and discovering my re-birth, what a great parallel it is to the birth of Jesus, in the waiting that i am called to experience in the midst of His coming. i am a firm believer that things are always easier when done with another, so I am very much looking forward to learning to breathe new life in a new way, with baby Jesus accompanying me.

all in all, i have learned, no time is wasted. everything has brought me to be right where i should be. and how do i feel about that? i am beyond grateful. life: onward and upward!

Curly Girl Design / = crystal captured on paper

patience in experience

patience. pasensya.

"The word patience comes from the Latin verb patior which means "to suffer."  Waiting patiently is suffering through the present moment, tasting it to the full, and letting the seeds that are sown in the ground on which we stand grow into strong plants.  Waiting patiently always means paying attention to what is happening right before our eyes..." - nouwen

Last week at mass, Fr. Carl said something during his homily, that has stuck with me since. He said, "We must be mindful and ask ourselves, are we able to see and experience God in the moments of everyday? or are we constantly waiting for big miracles to happen, for us to trust in God?"

Patience in the little moments, patience in the miracles, and yes, living every moment as if it were a miracle. To be alive! Life is a miracle - yeah, it gets yucky and unfavorable at times when situations don't turn out as we would desire, but truly experiencing the present moment, surrounded by the people that you [we] are surrounded by...I would venture to say, that is miracle and an experience of God in itself.

Just throwin' it out there. But really, we are challenged to ask ourselves that very question:

"Am I able to see and experience God in the moments of everyday? Or am I constantly waiting for big miracles to happen, for me to trust in God?"

mission remains mission.

The other day at work, I had a moment, if you will, when I thought to myself, literally, "dang. my mission totally looks different!" Let me explain.

 
Last Sunday, I had the great opportunity to Skype with Sr. Terezinha - my partner in crime, the Cabrini Sister that pretty much molded me to be the best missionary that I can be, given my circumstances of human weakness and frailty. Of course, she would always remind me, "Catalan, don't look to me as an example. Look to Mother Cabrini. Wait, no - look to Jesus. Mother Cabrini would NOT like that." When I think of missionary, really, I think of Sr. Terezinha. She brain-dumped so much wisdom and past experience from her over 50+ years in mission all over the world, to me, and I could not be more grateful for the ways she has influenced my life...so much, that still, I can hear her voice speaking to me, even though she's in the Philippines! Such a gift it was, to be able to serve with her as my companion on our walk to Emmaus on the streets of Baguio-Benguet for the past two years.

Given that situation, it made me reflect on my mission experience (these moments tend to happen every day and pretty much every blog entry - thanks for listening) - what it is that I did, and spent my time doing during my two-year mission assignment in Baguio City at Save Our School Children Foundation, Inc. (SOSCFI). When people ask me what I did, I start to talk about my work in pastoral ministry - teaching the sacraments...preparing children for First Communion and teens for Confirmation, getting parents ready for Baptism and Marriage, going in and out of the schools teaching the students about how much Jesus loves them, how to serve others which in turn, will shape their communities and eventually the world :), jail ministry, facilitating the arts program...there was lots of work that I spent time doing, working alongside the people.

"Go where the people are." That was one of our mottos.

/well.../

Now, I find myself back in an office. Yes, still collaborating with the community...with students, staff, and faculty, but the way in which I journey through my mission is different now. Looks and feels different, that's for sure. For the past few weeks, I have loaded my brain with knowledge of HTML, how to handle different social media accounts, started training myself on website jargon and how-tos, and started to put together marketing plans for my work. Digging up my knowledge from my two years working for NAM, I started organizing myself and putting together different plans to increase the amount of activity at our hub for social justice. How can I spread the importance of service and gratitude?

Using my sales and marketing experience and discipline from my two years in business has served me well. Though I am working in an office (which I never really thought I would end up doing after working on the streets doing mission work), something feels different. Reflecting on it, I realized, I love the work I am doing right now - my intentions are no longer selling marketing ads (coupons!) to top grossing consumer packaged goods products, but rather, I am now marketing community service opportunities, assisting students in learning more about Catholic Social Teaching, providing meaningful experiences for students to think and act, locally and globally.

I realized, no, I may not be out there with the people, walking up and down the hills, journeying from town to town, jumping on and off jeepneys, asking the people where so and so lives, but my heart and intention remains...just in a different context: connect others with opportunities and assist in offering these experiences for horizons to broaden and worldviews to expand.

Yes, I have so much more of the world to see, but what it is that I have already experienced, what it is that I have seen, it is now my responsibility to share those discoveries with others. My mission was/is never meant for me to trek alone, and that mission was/is never meant to remain solely in my heart...but to be lived out and integrated...no matter where I go.

While I may be situated out of an office - I know my spirit is out there dancing and wandering the streets of the Philippines, making its way in and out of the communities. And I'm doing exactly what I should be doing at this point: living out my mission the best way that I can - because only I can do that.

Called to do the best I could, in the situation I am in, with the people I am surrounded by - it's a good life. It's all perspective. Though I am living in an entirely different context in every which way than what I have been used to for the past two years, one thing is for certain: I am called to be here.

And that,
is enough for me.

you are not alone

THANKS for this MP!!!

...such a GREAT depiction of our  re-entry and transition. 

the story of our mission to mission experience.

Phase 1: wooohooo! going back home to see family and friends! "how was the philippines?" "did you see elephants in your backyard?" "how was your vacation?"  ....there's a whole lot of questions - just make sure there's a listening ear for the responses. :)

Phase 2: something has changed...what's going on? who AM i? i need a retreat to help me process my mission experience - there's just so much. and home? i have too many things. there are too many choices. privilege - what do i do with it?

 

Phase 3: Mission to Mission - wait, you're a missioner too? you went overseas also? you know what i'm talking about when i say re-entry and culture shock? you're really going to listen to my story? the good AND the bad? oh wow - ok, let's talk!

 

Phase 4: mission to mission friends, thanks for listening to my story. the good AND the bad. and for not giving me a time limit. and for your insights. crazy how you get ten totally different people in one place for a weekend, find the commonality to be that we had all served overseas, and there's so much head nodding and agreement and understanding - we're totally all in the same boat. different places on the boat...but totally sailing on the same sea. // late night sessions with snacks and treats and storytime and laughing and laughing and laughing and for some reason, always ending on a conversation about poop. what? it's mission.

 

Phase 5: affirmation! we're gonna be OK! :) :) :) reverence our experience, integrate, and learn to be patient and gentle with ourselves during this time of transition!

 

Phase 6: John 15:13 // Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. so good.

solidarity within community

i recently read a reflection written by one of my dearest friends, Charles Mansour, a resident minister at USD, who recently arrived back to the US from serving two years in Micronesia with Jesuit Volunteers International (JVI). this is only an excerpt from the 30-minute talk he had written, but after reading the moving testimony, i just had to share at least a portion.

this then gave me space to reflect on the Body of Christ (Community) witness talk that i gave my senior year of college at USD, an i am reminded of the scripture i ended with:

If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it.We are a part of one another. -1 Corinthians 12:26

and with that, here's the excerpt:

Charles and our other friends as them embark on the Camino

I did the Camino Santiago de Compostela with a few friends of mine after I finished my domestic volunteer work with the Providence Alliance of Catholic Teachers. The Camino is pilgrimage and was intended to be for us a 15 mile per day month long journey of walking and prayer, a way to encounter God in a deeply challenging (physically, mentally, and spiritually) avenue. The experience taught me a lot about myself, one thing being that your body is not made to walk for 15 miles a day for that long a time, but we managed. A real lesson I’ve learned over and over again is just how limited my concept of love and service really is. 

Here we were, these great, faithful, servants of Christ, on a spiritual journey, committing ourselves to deeply exploring our faith for a month-long pilgrimage, and we failed to love a poor individual we encountered on the way. 

One day, while we were at one of the pilgrim hostels, late at night, an elderly lady, sick and limping entered the hostel looking for a place to stay for the night. At first, since she was so late, she was almost refused, but upon seeing her desperation the landlord let her in out of pity. She wore tattered clothing, carried a purse, and was wearing plastic sandals (and there we were in our $600 gear we bought just for the camino). I looked at her and thought, there’s no way she could have walked more than 5 miles to get here. We went to bed, anxious by her presence, slightly fearful that she might rob us, or worse, try to engage us in conversation. That night she kept us up with wheezing and coughing. Great we thought, and a drug addict. Angrily, we awoke super early and departed for the next destination. 

It was a short 8 mile hike, and we realized when we got there that the hostel was closed, so we had to walk an additional 12 miles to get to the next one. We arrived exhausted and ready to eat a sumptuous meal and hit the hay. During dinner, we contemplated what might have happened to the lady who kept us up all night the day before. By the time we finished up, it was pretty late and we retired to our hostel and locked the gate (we were told to open the gate for no one). 

While we were sitting and laughing, we looked up and saw, to our great surprise and dismay the lady with the tattered clothes, purse, and plastic sandals had somehow made it the hostel. We were shocked, and I’m ashamed to say, we were even a little irritated. She began knocking on the door, and we began wrestling with what to do. We were told not to open the gate for anyone, since they won’t have paid for the night, and frankly, we didn’t’ want to open the gate. But how could we sit there in silence, ignoring her pleas? 

A sadness overcame me when I realized just how judgmental and un-loving I was. We actually tried to ignore the knocking, and we tried to sit quietly pretending not to hear. Finally, we looked at each other and said, this isn’t right. What kind of spiritual journey were we on? How self-righteous were we? We opened the door and let her in and sat with her in silence. More out of guilt than love, we offered her a meal and tried to sit with her. Instead, she fell asleep right away and when we awoke she was gone in the morning. We never saw her again. 

There’s a song that Jon Foreman from Switchfoot wrote. It’s called “Somebody’s Daughter” and it shares how every single person in this world, no matter how pitiful they end up, started as somebody’s child. I tried to imagine that woman in a flower print dress, dancing with her father in a field of grass, laughing, being and feeling loved and welcomed. Where was her father today? Who looked at her with those eyes? Who held her with those loving arms? Certainly, not me. I’ll never forget that woman, because she reminded me too clearly that I am called to see with God’s eyes and to love with God’s heart. 

Can you imagine what the world would be like if with every person we encountered we challenged ourselves to see God in them, to acknowledge that they, too, are God’s children, that they are our brothers and sisters, that they are loved as much as we are, that they are as worthy as we are. Service is not just about doing things; it’s not just about getting off our lazy behinds and building houses and providing food for people; it’s about an attitude, a worldview, being a source of love that spreads to others. It’s about acknowledging our presence and place in the intricate web that is the Body of Christ. 

he continues...

Charles' backyard while serving in Micronesia

One of my greatest privileges has been my ability to travel and see the world. And I’ve taken advantage of that privilege, and the more of the world I’ve seen, the more I’ve become aware of just how much God calls me and all of us into service. There’s so many heartbreaking crises out there, and when I’ve immersed myself in them, it’s been some of the deepest healing I’ve experienced. God calls us into brokenness so He can be the one making us whole. 

When I think about my time traveling on Semester at Sea, back backing around Europe, serving in Cairo and Micronesia, and even volunteering here in the States, one thing becomes increasingly clearer to me: I am called to love, and love is both a deep interior feeling but also an action. I am called to love the people here in front of me, those in my extended community, strangers, lost, forgotten, and even people who live hundreds or thousands of miles away. 

The Body of Christ is a whole unit, and every living human is part of that unit, and we are intricately connected. I’ve often realized that one of my greatest privileges is that I can offer myself in service to the poorest of the poor for any given amount of time yet still ultimately have a choice to go back to the life that would await me here in America. That freedom, while a privilege, is a subtle reminder of the tragic disparity we face in this world, the reality that I can choose poverty or wealth while others are forced to live the lives that they were born with. 

My privilege is my freedom of choice, and I pray that I always strive to use that freedom for the betterment of others.

 --

If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it.  We are a part of one another.  -1 Corinthians 12:26

first steps in the newfoundland of the USA

...AND i'm BACK!

this blog update is somewhat a big one, considering i have been putting it off for about four months now. as much as i have wanted to write and share some of my experiences in the past few months, i have also found it to be quite exhausting and emotionally draining when i even think about getting started. sound dramatic? well, it's life. :)

"what are you doing now crystal?" "where are you in the world?" "is it weird being back in the US again?"

so this is my attempt, my first step, if you will, to "get back into the game" and continue sharing some of my musings, epiphanies, realizations on this journey of life that i have been gifted with.

i recently got back from a "re-entry workshop" put on by From Mission to Mission, which is an organization that puts on workshops for returned volunteers and missioners who are now experiencing transition and re-entry back into the United States, their [our] homeland after serving overseas (workshops are also available for domestic volunteers!). in my case, i spent my workshop with ten other volunteers/missioners who served in zambia, bolivia, paraguay, india, guyana, just to name a few, and of course, i threw some asia flavor in there, having served in the philippines. more about that later, but basically, after a very powerful 3-day workshop out in chicago, i am learning, and have learned, my story must live on [no matter and wherever i go], and this blog may just be the very vessel in which it can be best expressed.

so here we go...!!!

[on transition]

upon leaving the US to venture off to mission in the Philippines, i participated in a program called MISO - Maryknoll International Service Orientation held in New York, where i attended different workshops with other volunteer/missioner programs who were preparing to send out volunteers/missioners for overseas mission. after leaving these fruitful workshops, i was so grateful for that opportunity to be "fully equipped" (as much as possible) with resources, good words of advice for the unfortunate times that i could expect, and with rich wisdom shared by the different presenters. during this orientation we also attended workshops on what some of the issues, conflicts, or challenges that overseas missioners/volunteers may experience, including how to or how not to handle romantic relationships abroad, how to stay physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy, and also, what it could be like upon re-entry back into the US. here's one of the blog entries from that time: Sept. 2010

little did i know that "culture shock" upon re-entry back into the US would absolutely be that: SHOCK.

in other words, still four months later (after leaving the philippines, 2 months back in the US), i am finally getting used to using a microwave again, finally getting the hang of driving once again (still fearing that people will pop out of nowhere and decide to cross right in front of the car), teaching myself how to use the different social media tools out there (there are so many!), trying not to feel guilty about making more than 5 copies of one-sided handouts, and the list goes on.

and those are just some of the examples of external situations that i am trying to get used to.

on a deeper level...a lot can happen in two years. dang, a lot can happen in a month - in a week. life doesn't stop, and people change. relationships change. i come back to the US, and i am not the same crystal. my friends are not carbon copies of who they were when i last left them. it takes time to get used to relationships again. i come back to the US and some of my friends are married, my facebook is flooded with pictures of marriages and couples with their 2nd and 3rd child. what? so beautiful! ...but something to get used to. filling out applications, asking for my "home address," that question resounds in my head. "home.." "home.." where is home? after living abroad for two years and experiencing an incredibly different life over on an island in the pacific, everything seems to have shaken up the cells inside of me.

after leaving the philippines in july, i was home for a week, went to fatima, portugal for a week, went home again for a week, then left for two months to swaziland. i then came back for a day, packed all my clothes, and made a move out east that next morning. operating on auto-pilot, i basically re-packed all of my clothes from the philippines (since those were the clothes i was used to), stuffed 'em in two suitcases, with room to spare, and trekked over to the east coast.

the problem? the weather on the east coast is NOT the tropical weather i have grown accustomed to in the philippines. what i realized is that what i thought was "normal" daily clothing in the philippines, which was basically a clean t-shirt and jeans, does not necessarily suffice as typically appropriate attire for mass or an office job in the US. dang. that was a moment when i realized my mind was not fully here yet.

as i could still hear julie from "From Mission to Mission share from past experience, "my spirit has not caught up with me yet."

this place of "liminality" if you will, is quite uncomfortable. it's like trying to fit into some new skin, in a new society and goin' with it, while also trying to be intentionally aware of these changes that i am experiencing in and all around me. it's getting used to change on the surface level, but definitely experiencing transition on the internal level. all at the same time. my opinions have changed, my frame of reference has changed, my way of seeing the world and understanding the global community has changed. and i would like to think, for the better.

sure, i've served abroad every summer for 5 years in the philippines, but after living there...it's a whole 'nother conversation.  

i am now learning how to integrate what i have experienced and lived in the philippines, into where i am now in the USA. my homeland which used to be so familiar, is not so much easy of a space to live in anymore. the west coast is very different from the east coast. sure, the privileges are quite the same, but still, it's different. i still recall many of the good times and the not-so-good times in my wonderland of the philippines, and now here i am, back in this country that used to be so familiar, the land that many immigrants try to make their way to, and i find myself discovering and exploring this newfoundland of the US. all the while, granting myself grace, patience, and gentleness during this time of transition, but dang. let me tell you. it. is. difficult.

the grace? my life on mission in the philippines gave me a renewed heart which has permeated every part of me and i have a whole community on the other side of the world that i am now in solidarity with.

despite the difficulties in transition, the "re-entry" part i understand, IS part of my mission in life. this mission was never simply something that only i would experience for an x amount of time, but rather, i believe it is my responsibilitiy to carry on the gifts and graces from the philippines and to share them with those i am now surrounded by.

so with that being said, here i am.

...i saw what i saw.

one foot at a time.

At God's Pace

Evelyn Underhill

There is no real occasion for tumult, strain, conflict, anxiety, once we have reached the living conviction that God is All. All takes place within God. God alone matters; God alone is. Our spiritual life is God's affair, because whatever we may think to the contrary, it is really produced by God's steady attraction and our humble and self-forgetful response to it. It consists in being drawn, at God's pace and in God's way, to the place where God wants us to be. // Source: The Soul's Delight

Gospel as News

  Absolutely New and Profoundly Disturbing

Thomas Merton

The greatest temptation that assails Christians is that in effect, for most of us, the Gospel has ceased to be news. And if it is not news it is not Gospel: for the Gospel is the proclamation of something absolutely new, everlastingly new, not a message that was once new but is now two thousand years old.... The message of the Gospel when it was first preached was profoundly disturbing to those who wanted to cling to well-established religious patterns, the ancient and accepted ways, the ways that were not dangerous and which contained no surprises.

Source: Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander

become what we love.

(taken from August 2011 issue, Liberty + Vine)

Prayer from St. Clare of Assisi

"We become what we love, and who we love shapes what we become. If we love things, we become a thing. If we love nothing, we become nothing. Imitation is not a liberal mimicking of Christ, rather it means becoming the image of the beloved, an image disclosed through transformation. This means we are to become vessels of God's compassionate love for others."

 - St. Clare of Assisi

MISSION KAPOTE: COMPLETE!

 

MISSION KAPOTE

Mission Kapote was a successful program serving five schools, one foundation, and was the product of personal experience – one that was shared with others locally and across oceans to make a difference in a number of communities in Baguio City and Tuba, Benguet.

Mission Kapote began as an outreach program to raise sufficient funds to provide raincoats for 132 students, from Kindergarten to Grade 6 at Yagyagan Elementary School. However, with the generous outpouring of donations, Mission Kapote expanded itself to provide raincoats for Lubas Elementary School, Labney Elementary School, Taloy Norte Elementary School, Mariano Sabarino Elementary School, Save Our School Children Foundation, Inc., and select students from neighboring school, Sioco Carino Elementary School, located in Tuba, Benguet.

However, not only raincoats were provided, but also school supplies for every student at Lubas, Labney, Taloy Norte, and Mariano Sabarino. Within three weeks of Mission Kapote lift-off, the abundance of funds collected made me realize I needed to find more schools to provide raincoats for – besides, there were plenty in need! With the help of Cabrini Mission Foundation in New York, NY, donors from around the world had the opportunity to donate to this program, and all donations were centralized. Thank you technology (and Facebook)! After teaming up with the principal at Yagyagan, she introduced me to other schools in the Benguet region, mostly in Tuba, an area composed of rural municipalities outside of Baguio City.

After looking for more schools to donate raincoats to, and after personally conducting school visits, I found that the schools were of perfect size to provide additional raincoats to, but still, there were extra funds that I would be able to use for the schools. Ah, what a great problem to have, right? Well, that also meant more work! More work that I was happy to take on.

After venturing to these schools, crossing rivers, hiking, and experiencing the everyday commute for the families and children getting to and from school, I experienced truly how far these barangays or “towns” are from the major cities where the families would have to commute to buy their food and goods. Given this firsthand experience, I thought it would help even if a little bit, to lift the burden off of these families, by saving them trips, money and effort, to get to town, by providing them with raincoats and school supplies for the upcoming school year. I was always taught on mission to “go where the people are.” And so I did! 

I also learned that from mid-June to September, there is no nearby transportation available to some of these areas because the river gets too high for the jeepneys to cross. Presented with that reality, I immediately told the principal, “Yes, po. We will return!” Perhaps reluctant at first, she joyfully accompanied me throughout the process.

I recall working on another outreach program at Yagyagan Elementary School last year with one of my friends, where we also gave school supplies and played some games with the children. For some reason I wanted some affirmation that school supplies would be of use for the children, and that this would be of assistance to their well-being. Was there something else concrete that I could do with the money? I remember asking some of the college students at the Foundation, “Hey, do you guys think school supplies would be of help to these students?” They immediately replied, “Yes, Ate, the kids would be more motivated to go to school if they had school supplies.” Boom. Done.

So, after taking a look at the total funds collected, not only were all of these schools able to be provided with raincoats, but also a complete set of school supplies were provided for every student.  What? Thank you, Jesus!

For the next two weeks, I spent time with the assistance of some of the college students from the Foundation, ordering the supplies, picking up the supplies, ordering the raincoats, packing the materials, and boxing all of it up for distribution. What did I discover? I’m horrible at tying up and securing the boxes, but I’m pretty good at counting and ensuring that the correct number of materials were packed in each box! And so, the week of June 4 was the scheduled distribution week, given that June 4 was also the first day of school for the students.

Monday, June 4, I was joined with one of the college students, and a friend of mine to distribute the supplies to Taloy Norte and Mariano Sabarino Elementary School. Originally, the plan was to also visit Lubas and Labney Elementary School in the morning, however, because monsoon rains had occurred just two days prior, the river was way too high for the truck (carrying us and all of the supplies) to pass through. Yes, there is a river that trucks and jeepneys must pass through. Crazy! As a result, that trip was to be rescheduled for Thursday of that week, again, weather permitting. This was a bummer because I wanted the students to receive their school supplies and raincoats sooner than later, but I also realized, safety first!

Norlyn (the college student), Cherry (my friend), the driver, and the Principal of Yagyagan Elementary School accompanied me to Taloy Norte and Mariano Sabarino where we passed out the school supplies and raincoats for the students, and also provided some supplies for the teachers and staff. We were able to transport these goods through the assistance of the Principal, who was able to hire the Emergency Vehicle of the Office of the Congressman of Tuba, Benguet. Thank goodness! It was of great help.

First to Taloy Norte, then to Mariano Sabarino, the children were all very excited and grateful for the donations. At each school, we were greeted with merienda (“snacks”) and also lunch. It was a beautiful day!

Upon meeting the students, I recalled my first days of school, especially during elementary school, and remembered that the weeks prior to the first day of school were the most exciting for me. New notebooks, a new backpack, some new clothes, sharpened pencils, and fresh everything, so that I could start off the year energized and complete with all the materials I needed. 

When I visited the first school, Taloy Norte, the students were quiet, reserved, and they were so little also! I saw their clothes, their worn out feet, and thought to myself, wow, this is so different than what I am used to for the first day of school. It was just another day for them, and immediately I recalled what the first day of school was probably like for the kids back at home – much different than this. I was extremely grateful to be with the students of Tuba that day.

Tucked in the mountain was another small school called Mariano Sabarino, composed of children from Kindergarten to Grade 6, and the students were very similar to what I experienced at Taloy Norte, except they had more energy. After distributing the raincoats and school supplies, we spent time listening to the teacher-in-charge play the accordion for the students during recess, and I raced some of the kids. For the first time, I actually won a running race – go figure! 

The teachers thanked us for thinking of their school as a recipient of raincoats and school supplies, but I assured them that there are people back at home, and locally here in the Philippines that do care, and appreciate all of their hard work for the children, despite their challenging circumstances.

Distributing the goods was when I realized, yes, there is a need here, and if these donations could provide our young brothers and sisters here with just a little bit more motivation to go to school and excel at that, then it was all worth it. Never mind the rocky fields that the truck had to maneuver through for hours on end - it was an experience, and I was glad I was able to share my morning and afternoon with the communities of Taloy Norte and Mariano Sabarino.

On Thursday, again with the help of the driver, the Principal of Yagyagan, and Norlyn, we were able to venture off to Lubas and Labney Elementary School, as the community members said that there is an alternate route that our vehicle could use for the distribution of school supplies and raincoats. After piling everything in the Emergency Vehicle, and journeying for two hours, we finally made it to the area of the schools. But, not so fast. The road became absolutely so rocky and so muddy (because of the recent rainfall) that our vehicle got stuck and we had to wait for the husband of one of the teachers at the school to come and pick us up. 

Eventually we were able to move the Emergency Vehicle, park it in a local town, and through the help of some of the community members, they were able to transfer all of the materials from the Emergency Vehicle, into this new truck that we would take over to the school. Phew! It was quite the adventure. Thank goodness there was cell phone service. This definitely helped in our communication efforts!

After leaving Baguio City around 8:30am, we finally reached our destination of Lubas Elementary School at 12pm. Right in time for lunch. We were very hungry, but it was nice to finally get to our final destination!

There was true bayanhian (“community”) spirit which I witnessed with the community members that day, and it was beautiful to see. Seeing that our Vehicle needed help backing up in the mud, I watched as the people in the area threw down rocks to add traction for the tires, and I witnessed some of the members in the community start transferring the heavy boxes. It was such a beautiful spirit that I was able to witness that morning prior to even arriving at the school – it’s a lovely community.

After distributing the donations at both Lubas and Labney Elementary School, the teachers and staff were very grateful, along with the children, and it was a blessing to have shared the entire day with them! Because there were a few extra supplies, there was another principal present from neighboring school, Sioco Carino Elementary School, and she was able to bring some of the donations to the most indigent children of her school, also located in Tuba, Benguet.

All in all, every child was provided for, and the Mission Kapote program exceeded its original intention. It seemed to me that God had a bigger plan than what I thought was possible. I should have known that upon praying to the Holy Spirit for guidance, direction and assistance in the beginning of stages of Mission Kapote, the Holy Spirit would provide, and look what happened! I remember one night talking with my friend about this idea, and not sleeping because I was so excited of the possibilities, that I started to draft the advertisement for it. Little did I know that it would turn into a true mission in itself, where more than what I imagined would actually happen, and I would be able to meet, smile with, and join hands with a number of beautiful children!

It was indeed a lot of work, and sure there were challenges and stress here and there, but nothing that was enormously debilitating. This was such a testament to me that God provides, and I feel that the communities were also touched in the sense that they were reminded that they have not been forgotten, despite their great distance from the major cities.

Of course, none of this would have been possible without the help of my mom, Cabrini Mission Foundation, and all of the donors and supporters, that both prayed and/or financially contributed to these efforts. It was such a grace to share these communities with all of you, and I thank you again for walking with me as we do our best to reach out to the poorest of the poor. God provided generous hearts and His timing was all on-time with surprises every step of the way. Thank you for being a part of Mission Kapote.

Maraming Salamat po!

RECIPIENTS:

School or Foundation	# of Students
Labney Primary School	17
Lubas Elementary School	64
Mariano Sabarino Elementary School	60
Save Our School Children Foundation, Inc. (SOSCFI)	112
Sioco Carino Elementary School	15
Taloy Norte Elementary School	52
Yagyagan Elementary School	147
TOTAL	467

ITEMS PURCHASED:

ITEM	QUANTITY
Raincoat	467
Ballpen	311
Chalk	12
Eraser	109
Pack of Crayons (for Students)	219
Pack of Crayons (for Teachers)	12
Pencil	426
Pencil Sharpener	105
Pentel Pen	24
Ream of White Paper	12
Scissors	58
Spiral (Composition) Notebook	632
Waterproof Canvas Bag	219
Writing Pad	424
TOTAL	3030

--end --

Written by Crystal Catalan

June 18, 2012