So for the past hour and a half, I have been sitting in the dunkin donuts/baskin robbins. As part of our attempt to be “regulars” SOMEWHERE…as volunteers/missioners…let’s face it, we gotta budget, and we gotta get the best deals we can…every night we have pretty much been eating ice cream at baskin robbins or mister softee…and sure enough, tonight, jackpot. After a past couple visits of seeing familiar faces, we have finally succeeded, and we are now in the “know” with the managers and fellow employees. Perfect! Just what we needed. HAHA!
So here I am, sitting in the little wooden chair on the little wooden desk, typing away…well for the past hour I was actually working on the study guide for my students who just found out that they have a test on Wednesday. Yeah, go figure, I am working on their chapter review/study guide for health class, here in dunkin donuts. I just finished my snickers ice cream and being the filipino that I am (yeah I said it), I asked for a really big “one scoop” of ice cream. Haha it was delicious! I was typing away on my study guide, and they play bumpin music in here, and we all know how much I love that stuff…surprisingly this has been the most productive I have been! Anyway, I was typing away, and this guy was walking by, like, an older guy and he walked by and saw me dancing in my seat, then definitely walked back to me and was like, wow you’re like typing to the song. What are you doing? Then I told him I was doing a study guide for my students, and he was like, oh! You want ice cream for an extra sugar kick? Haha I said, no thanks – I already had some!
This was probably the best way to end my day…well after school, me, mary and michelle went to mass to celebrate the feast day of the first filipino saint, St. Lorenzo Ruiz. It was a beautiful mass, and it was nice to speak and sing in tagalog again.
Last night I really couldn’t sleep and it was due to actually finding out more about the storm in the Philippines, and knowing that it hit straight on in quezon city and severely hitting marikina and all parts of metro manila, it was really sad and saddened my heart. I just pictured my family and all the families who live in my grandparent’s apartment complex. Then I thought about my godson and his brothers and sisters and his parents. And then I heard that the first floor of my grandparent’s home was completely flooded on the first floor – so much that the water was up to his neck and so he was able to get to the second floor…once all the water was drained, pretty much everything is demolished and ruined on the first floor of the house…it’s really hard to picture this because, this home is like our family’s home. My grandparents slept on the first floor of the house because they couldn’t get up the stairs that well…their bed was there, the living room, kitchen, everything…and that’s even where we had my grandma’s wake a year and a half ago when she passed away…there are just a lot of memories there – not to mention, that is where my mom and my aunts and uncles all grew up. So much goodness in there, and very old, vintage photos hung on the walls.
I can not even imagine or fathom what it looks like over there in the Philippines, but the images I am picturing really make me just want to cry. I read an article and it said that 80% of metro manila was flooded and under water for quite some time…in 6 hours, the 16 inches of rain that normally falls throughout September, fell in that mere amount of time. Wow.
Then I think about the water and all the disease…the Philippines is not a clean place, and with water all up everywhere, and disease so rampant, wow, this is just so terrible. It is like hurricane katrina, but in a third world country. Natural disasters – this time, there is no one to blame. How easy it is to point fingers in other situations…but who knows, maybe the media or the public will start blaming the government on their maintenance or lack of, with the reservoir and pipe systems. Oh communication major, and study of the media coverage that has shaped my mind to think the way it does about anything it does – reads or sees or watches from afar. I blame and thank my major and my education and experience for my criticalness. It does come in handy though, very much so. It’s important to look at both sides of the coin!
My family is safe, even though my aunt had fall pretty badly in her home due to the flooding.
It is crazy to me that I was just in the Philippines about 5 months ago…the images are just so fresh in my mind. The children are always fresh in my mind, and I am just very heartbroken about it. Dear God, please heal the Philippines.
I feel like I am back in that place where I felt very alone in my desire to do all that I can do to serve my family, friends, brothers, and sisters in the Philippines. It is a helpless type of feeling, but I know it is not hopeless. I know God is still there, and I know he is still very much moving, but I think the difficult part is that I am physically not there, and I do not even know what the conditions are like – but I can truly only imagine. My only vision of flooding in the Philippines is when I went when I was 12 years old, and I remember paying 10 pesos to walk across a really really big, bad, flooded puddle, probably 2 feet high. 2 guys helped me walk across a 5 inch panel of wood. I remember it so vividly! We were just leaving the mall and I remember when I got in the car, I put my feet up on the seat because I was scared the water was going to seep through the car.
With these thoughts on my mind, my day was very much blah today. It was full of prayer, and full of contemplation and thought – all very much in the sense that I was sad I was just not there in manila. Granted maybe I really could not have done anything, or even stand the conditions, but there is still that longing in my heart to be there with the people of the Philippines. As a result, I was very much distracted for the majority of the day and I wanted nothing more than to continue receiving updates from my family.
And with those thoughts today continuing from my feelings from late last night upon hearing more word on the conditions, it was then that I realized, my heart is still very much alive, fresh and soft for the people of the Philippines. such a beautiful people, and I really need to grow in my faith and trust, that God is providing the strength and the endurance for the people who are assisting in relief and recovery efforts in manila. I am so small, and I am just one person, but if there is something that I have learned in just my past few months of being a cabrini missioner and reflecting on my journey to get here, I have learned that every prayer is truly heard, and answered…a yes…a not right now…or an, I have something better for you. And THAT is wisdom that I received from my good friend veronica. I can not limit God’s potential or put Him in a box, because my human understanding is nowhere close to God’s amazingness and vast LOVE for us – all of us.
And with that, I think I might just sleep a little better tonight.
I believe You’re my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You’re my Portion
I believe You’re more than enough for me
…Jesus, You’re all I need
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
god is hope, god is light...
It has been quite the while since the last update and wow, so much has happened…each day is very, so very busy, but not so much overwhelming. I think it’s the commute that is the killer every day. Excuse me, not killer, but the struggle if you will. It’s not the number of students that I have, or the number of classes I teach each day…I only have about 42 students total and then I only teach two sections per day, if that. the schedule is a little difficult to explain, so I will leave that up for your own curiosity to ponder. It’s the getting out of bed part that is the hardest part of the morning, but once I turn on my lights and jump out of bed (literally), then I am awake. Like, awake, ready to get goin on the day! Then of course it is the getting on the train back home, after a full day of school, when the tiredness catches up with me and I am once again exhausted, only to get in time for dinner and prayer. Come 7:30pm, the day is over, only to begin lesson planning once again, or catch up on phone calls, or emails, or anything else that requires attention that I otherwise put off until this time. Story of my life!
This past week has given me time. What I mean by that, is that I would recall countless moments this past week where I would be sitting in my chair, and realize, crystal, you are sitting in your chair, and you were just thinking, but you had silence – no music, no nothing…then when I realize that I just had that realization, I would be like, ok, wait, what was I thinking about? And sure enough, I don’t think I was necessarily thinking about anything…but, do you get it? I was giving myself some time to just be and sit in my chair and give myself a moment – GIVE MYSELF A MOMENT! I didn’t even have any idea, but I think my mind and body is smarter than I am, and it knows what it needs, so it took it! That pretty much never happens, cause well, if you know me, I am always on the go and looking for the next thing to do!
One of my weaknesses, or maybe strengths in need of improvement if you will, is that I am always too involved with things. It is something that I have had going on since junior high school, and people always tell me that I need to slow down, or I need to stop joining organization after organization, and it’s definitely a place of looking more inward towards, but the fact is, is that I don’t really think I will slow down with this stuff. I love everything that I do, and I do my best in everything that I am involved in…so yes, balance is always a situation for me. and I like balance – I think the problem is, is that, as a libra (my sign are scales!) is that while my life is balanced, cause I like that, the weights are heavy on both sides. Haha…soo as long as I don’t tip, I think I’m fine. I haven’t tipped in a while, and hopefully it remains that way for even a longer while. BUT I am happy that I was able to give myself some time this week and realize that I was doing so. I was so happy. Haha!
Another awesome realization that I had, was on Friday. Michelle and I were walking to mr. softee as we usually do once a week to reward ourselves for a job well done at the high school, and I was thinking, and proceeded to externally process (I was never such a big external processor, but since cabrini mission corps, apparently this has developed!), I said, “you know, I don’t really feel like I’m working. I’m just being, and I am just doing what I love doing.” I think one thing that I love about all the walking that I do, is that it gives me time to think – to contemplate – to meditate…sure I can say the same thing about driving around in california, but there’s something different about walking. I think I see things more up close, and I am able to have more freedom with my thoughts, and therefore, that thought came to mind, and it felt so good to verbalize that.
I realized that really, I am doing what I love. How is that really possible? Truly, I think it is possible because I really followed my heart and where I felt like God was calling me. It was through the art of listening – not only to myself when I would talk about my passions, but also to God, and that inner voice that calls me to the place of my passion and my rich joy. But honestly, I don’t even think I can begin to explain the greatness that is entailed in walking up and down the stairs, and the hallways of the high school, saying hi to the students, and sitting in campus ministry, just watching the girls interact with one another, and talk about boys, talk about their clubs that they are excited about joining, or even their classes that they are struggling in the most.
It is such a joy, and to know that this is my ministry right now, wow, I am just so overjoyed at that. Truly, God has molded me and prepared me for my ministry at the high school right now, and I know that every step I take here in new york continues to be for my future ministry wherever that leads me.
The homily today was talking about “it is in giving, that we receive.” I have already received so much. I can not even begin to explain how well I am being taken care of, how much I am being served each day. Sure I get frustrated teaching sometimes when my class is talking and I’m about to make a really good point about their lesson, but when I am up there teaching, it is such a gift to be able to help shape the mind, heart, and spirit of these girls in teaching health, and that is why I put all of my effort and heart in all that I do, each day. They may not realize it, because to be honest, I don’t think I appreciated my teachers all that much until I take a moment to think about all the time and help my teachers gave to prepare me for the “real world” as I began college. It really is amazing. What a gift!
So my sister is moving to Hawaii and we therefore have committed to hanging out together once a week. It’s such a great time because we never really did that before, and now we do so habitually. We go to mass, wherever the Spirit leads us, and then we go to brunch. It’s great! Today I got to see her little doggy, alecs, and that was fun. Even if his hair is kinda tangled and stuff!
It is a delight to say bye to the subway attendant after leaving the L train as michelle and I begin our trek back home from our long commute from high school. I think the best part about that, is that it signifies, thanks be to God, we survived the subway ride and now just need to walk a few blocks home, and then we are home sweet home. Today when I was on my way home back from my sister’s place, I got to the subway station, of course, just as the doors were closing and ready to leave, and I was like, dang it! BUT, the attendant definitely saw me, stopped the subway and opened its doors for me to enter. I yelled thank you, and it really made me happy. What a nice person! The subway attendants are not given much credit, but really, they do so much. Shoot, without them, no one could get anywhere! AND it is really interesting to listen to their announcements over the intercom. Seriously, when they say things like, get home safely, or have a pleasant evening, that’s so nice of them. I enjoy it at least!
I bought my ticket home for the holidays and looks like I will be going home in about 3 months in time for Christmas and New Years. It seems like such a long time, but I know time will go by fast, and really, I am not too home sick, but when I think about my doggies, my mom, and my family in orange county, then I get a little sad, so I try not to think about it. Oh well, I am doing real well, and thank God for that.
Choir is wonderful and it is great to be blessed with the ministry of music. I have been able to help some of the girls practice their solos, teaching them counting, and helping them aim higher with their voices to reach their higher notes. Even though I’m not amazing by any means in terms of singing, I think my ear is well cultivated to know right from wrong and act as a guidance to know where the voice should be, if it needs to be corrected. So praised God, the choir is great, I get such a big smile on my face when I hear the girls sing, My All in All…it is so precious, and so real – it really is truly beautiful.
And with that, I will begin another week at the high school. With much prayer, with much love and joy in my heart, with the confidence and faith knowing that God has called me there, and with the utmost zeal for my brothers and sisters that I will pass each day this week, I am hoping it will be a great one!
Thank you for the love. I need it, and I hope you receive mine too! Happy Day!
This past week has given me time. What I mean by that, is that I would recall countless moments this past week where I would be sitting in my chair, and realize, crystal, you are sitting in your chair, and you were just thinking, but you had silence – no music, no nothing…then when I realize that I just had that realization, I would be like, ok, wait, what was I thinking about? And sure enough, I don’t think I was necessarily thinking about anything…but, do you get it? I was giving myself some time to just be and sit in my chair and give myself a moment – GIVE MYSELF A MOMENT! I didn’t even have any idea, but I think my mind and body is smarter than I am, and it knows what it needs, so it took it! That pretty much never happens, cause well, if you know me, I am always on the go and looking for the next thing to do!
One of my weaknesses, or maybe strengths in need of improvement if you will, is that I am always too involved with things. It is something that I have had going on since junior high school, and people always tell me that I need to slow down, or I need to stop joining organization after organization, and it’s definitely a place of looking more inward towards, but the fact is, is that I don’t really think I will slow down with this stuff. I love everything that I do, and I do my best in everything that I am involved in…so yes, balance is always a situation for me. and I like balance – I think the problem is, is that, as a libra (my sign are scales!) is that while my life is balanced, cause I like that, the weights are heavy on both sides. Haha…soo as long as I don’t tip, I think I’m fine. I haven’t tipped in a while, and hopefully it remains that way for even a longer while. BUT I am happy that I was able to give myself some time this week and realize that I was doing so. I was so happy. Haha!
Another awesome realization that I had, was on Friday. Michelle and I were walking to mr. softee as we usually do once a week to reward ourselves for a job well done at the high school, and I was thinking, and proceeded to externally process (I was never such a big external processor, but since cabrini mission corps, apparently this has developed!), I said, “you know, I don’t really feel like I’m working. I’m just being, and I am just doing what I love doing.” I think one thing that I love about all the walking that I do, is that it gives me time to think – to contemplate – to meditate…sure I can say the same thing about driving around in california, but there’s something different about walking. I think I see things more up close, and I am able to have more freedom with my thoughts, and therefore, that thought came to mind, and it felt so good to verbalize that.
I realized that really, I am doing what I love. How is that really possible? Truly, I think it is possible because I really followed my heart and where I felt like God was calling me. It was through the art of listening – not only to myself when I would talk about my passions, but also to God, and that inner voice that calls me to the place of my passion and my rich joy. But honestly, I don’t even think I can begin to explain the greatness that is entailed in walking up and down the stairs, and the hallways of the high school, saying hi to the students, and sitting in campus ministry, just watching the girls interact with one another, and talk about boys, talk about their clubs that they are excited about joining, or even their classes that they are struggling in the most.
It is such a joy, and to know that this is my ministry right now, wow, I am just so overjoyed at that. Truly, God has molded me and prepared me for my ministry at the high school right now, and I know that every step I take here in new york continues to be for my future ministry wherever that leads me.
The homily today was talking about “it is in giving, that we receive.” I have already received so much. I can not even begin to explain how well I am being taken care of, how much I am being served each day. Sure I get frustrated teaching sometimes when my class is talking and I’m about to make a really good point about their lesson, but when I am up there teaching, it is such a gift to be able to help shape the mind, heart, and spirit of these girls in teaching health, and that is why I put all of my effort and heart in all that I do, each day. They may not realize it, because to be honest, I don’t think I appreciated my teachers all that much until I take a moment to think about all the time and help my teachers gave to prepare me for the “real world” as I began college. It really is amazing. What a gift!
So my sister is moving to Hawaii and we therefore have committed to hanging out together once a week. It’s such a great time because we never really did that before, and now we do so habitually. We go to mass, wherever the Spirit leads us, and then we go to brunch. It’s great! Today I got to see her little doggy, alecs, and that was fun. Even if his hair is kinda tangled and stuff!
It is a delight to say bye to the subway attendant after leaving the L train as michelle and I begin our trek back home from our long commute from high school. I think the best part about that, is that it signifies, thanks be to God, we survived the subway ride and now just need to walk a few blocks home, and then we are home sweet home. Today when I was on my way home back from my sister’s place, I got to the subway station, of course, just as the doors were closing and ready to leave, and I was like, dang it! BUT, the attendant definitely saw me, stopped the subway and opened its doors for me to enter. I yelled thank you, and it really made me happy. What a nice person! The subway attendants are not given much credit, but really, they do so much. Shoot, without them, no one could get anywhere! AND it is really interesting to listen to their announcements over the intercom. Seriously, when they say things like, get home safely, or have a pleasant evening, that’s so nice of them. I enjoy it at least!
I bought my ticket home for the holidays and looks like I will be going home in about 3 months in time for Christmas and New Years. It seems like such a long time, but I know time will go by fast, and really, I am not too home sick, but when I think about my doggies, my mom, and my family in orange county, then I get a little sad, so I try not to think about it. Oh well, I am doing real well, and thank God for that.
Choir is wonderful and it is great to be blessed with the ministry of music. I have been able to help some of the girls practice their solos, teaching them counting, and helping them aim higher with their voices to reach their higher notes. Even though I’m not amazing by any means in terms of singing, I think my ear is well cultivated to know right from wrong and act as a guidance to know where the voice should be, if it needs to be corrected. So praised God, the choir is great, I get such a big smile on my face when I hear the girls sing, My All in All…it is so precious, and so real – it really is truly beautiful.
And with that, I will begin another week at the high school. With much prayer, with much love and joy in my heart, with the confidence and faith knowing that God has called me there, and with the utmost zeal for my brothers and sisters that I will pass each day this week, I am hoping it will be a great one!
Thank you for the love. I need it, and I hope you receive mine too! Happy Day!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
where you at?
Friday. TGIF. HAPPY FRIDAY!!! I woke up this morning at 5:15am in preparation to leave the house ontime to get to school by 7:45am. After all, today was our first choir day!! Yeah, that’s right. michelle and I are moderators for our individual sections in choir. I’m with the altos and it was today that I realized I’m reliving high school…totally. High school and cantor ensemble at USD when I was student director. I got to sit in a room with the other altos and hear them try their best at mimicking the alto line they heard being sung on the tape. None of them can read music, but they have an ear, and a voice, and so along the way, I tried to teach them beats, and how long to hold certain notes for. It was great and wow, it was a wonderful way to start my day off! Happy Friday was RIGHT!
This morning I prepped for my two classes today. We were doing the “emotional cup” activity, but rather, I gave it my own cool title…”How Full Are You?” And once it was time for the questions, I gave it my own title…”WY-A” – Where You At? This was when we talked about the celebrations – the good things that have happened…then the struggles – some of the hardships…then apologies…then compliments…yeah, that’s right. I teach health! Since it was the first week of school, I knew that my students had a bunch of stuff on their plate, so I thought this would be a great way to get a gauge for where they were all at. It was wonderful!
And then afterwards, I gave each of the girls a part of a poem. We were all seated in a circle in the campus ministry side room, so it was a perfect place to gather. I knew that I wanted to end that activity with a prayer or a poem of some sort and I had no idea where to find a good one…then I looked over at a poem that I broke down on a posterboard on my wall in the campus ministry office and realized, oh my gosh! This is PERFECT! (I’ll try to post it later!) but anyway…it ended with… “I have created you in my image and likeness, and woman, you, are, GOOD.” This poem was on display on some other poster, but the original poster was kinda super cheesy, so I made it a little more edgy on my visual portrayal. Haha!
As talkative as my classes both were, the craziest must unreal phenomenon happened…after that last sentence, there was an overwhelming “awwww” and then they clapped!!! And then I told them that they were beautiful and special and hopefully sent them off with goodness in their hearts as they prepared for the weekend! It was so good, and so great…inexplainable, it was very powerful!
It’s funny, cause with my first class, I had those four sections to go over, but we were running out of time. My class of course was stuck on talking about some of their own difficulties, and I was like, ah we need to move on! But no…I learned to never sacrifice hearing my students talk about their feelings and their emotions, just to get through the activity. What they were saying was important, and what was great is that every person in that class was experiencing the transition of now being a sophomore from being a freshman. It’s a rough time, and I was hopefully able to bring it up to them that 1, there is solidarity there and this brings everyone together among the sophomore class, and 2, as sophomores, it is a great blessing to take the freshmen underneath their wings, guide them, and show them the ropes – there’s goodness in this transition too. Such a blessing I have in teaching health that I can bust out an activity to check in with the health of my students – see how things are going with them socially, spiritually, emotionally, mentally…so good.
So, as for my name on campus, I am known as ms. Cadillac, ms. C, ms. Caddy, ms. CC, there are a bunch – or sometimes I get, ah! Are you the health teacher? Or, ah! YOU’RE the health teacher! …I have lots of fun with the girls, and when I had lunch duty today, some of the girls tried to teach me salsa and meringue…haha that’s what you get when your students are primarily Dominican. It’s wonderful, it really is! I got to talk one on one with one of my students today…I noticed there was a sadness in her character and demeanor and so I asked her to meet up with me during one of her free times in campus ministry. It was my first one on one time with a student, and it gave me an opportunity to pray for her, and realize how hard it is to be in high school – with the pressures of family, and school, and personal life…it really is difficult going through it…and especially when you are not in the best environment, that makes it only a bit more challenging.
Something that I find so beautiful about the girls at the high school, is how nice they are to me. for instance, when I was in high school, if I ever saw a teacher, I would run the opposite direction or try my hardest at not making eye contact. With these girls, every time I see a student in the hall, or a group of them, whether I knew them by name or not (I’m struggling in this part of being a teacher!), they always say, “hi miss!” when michelle and I were walking down to the train station after stopping by the mr. softee truck for my rainbow sprinkle dipped cone and her chocolate éclair, the students all said bye to us as well…it was just another reality check…that even though they talk in class, and pick and choose exactly what they want to respond to, they have hearts of gold and are open, that is, as long as you talk with them and do so in a loving way.
One of the students was singing the “happy birthday” song by stevie wonder. I immediately turned around and was like, oh my gosh! Who is singing that? it was then that she was like, oh my gosh miss, you’re my best friend! You are my new favorite person!! I was just like, girl, what are the other verses? She didn’t know, but said she would find out. She was like, dang, I thought you was black. Hahaha I was like, huhhhhhhh! Hahaha not even! But then I saw her in campus ministry cause she was visiting and she said the funniest thing…she said…”ms. catalan, on the real though, you’s a black filipino.” Hahaha…I’m in!!!
Just, such a good day. Yes, I have a lot of papers to grade, and things to read, and life to catch up on, but I’m also bathing in the goodness of that which this week brought to my life. On the subway this morning, this construction worker almost collided with another guy on the train, but both were so tired, they just brushed it off. I smiled because I thought it was cute that the construction man was like, ah, sorry! And I don’t know, but I just smiled cause I thought it was great that he said sorry and the other guy was just like, oh it’s fine! Not that typical…The construction man sat down, and I just looked at him. He was in a matching hat and shirt for valley crest companies. It immediately made me think of one of my prospects at news america.
Then I saw he had a tattered piece on his left pant leg, and he was just tired…he was reading his Spanish newspaper and eventually fell asleep for many stops. As he got up from his seat to exit the train, he gave me a smile, and I gave him a smile back, and he said bye, and I said bye too. It was great to have that early morning exchange and to acknowledge another person so early in the morning. Very unexpected. I then saw a mother playing paddy cake with her daughter on the train. There was so much joy. The little girl had cute little flowers in her hair…which means, someone took time to put those gadgets in her hair…she was already being pampered at her probable estimated age of 5. it was super cute!
And that, that was my adventure for Friday on the way to the heights.
You could see him with your heart if you stop looking with your eyes - how could you say no? by steve angrisano
This morning I prepped for my two classes today. We were doing the “emotional cup” activity, but rather, I gave it my own cool title…”How Full Are You?” And once it was time for the questions, I gave it my own title…”WY-A” – Where You At? This was when we talked about the celebrations – the good things that have happened…then the struggles – some of the hardships…then apologies…then compliments…yeah, that’s right. I teach health! Since it was the first week of school, I knew that my students had a bunch of stuff on their plate, so I thought this would be a great way to get a gauge for where they were all at. It was wonderful!
And then afterwards, I gave each of the girls a part of a poem. We were all seated in a circle in the campus ministry side room, so it was a perfect place to gather. I knew that I wanted to end that activity with a prayer or a poem of some sort and I had no idea where to find a good one…then I looked over at a poem that I broke down on a posterboard on my wall in the campus ministry office and realized, oh my gosh! This is PERFECT! (I’ll try to post it later!) but anyway…it ended with… “I have created you in my image and likeness, and woman, you, are, GOOD.” This poem was on display on some other poster, but the original poster was kinda super cheesy, so I made it a little more edgy on my visual portrayal. Haha!
As talkative as my classes both were, the craziest must unreal phenomenon happened…after that last sentence, there was an overwhelming “awwww” and then they clapped!!! And then I told them that they were beautiful and special and hopefully sent them off with goodness in their hearts as they prepared for the weekend! It was so good, and so great…inexplainable, it was very powerful!
It’s funny, cause with my first class, I had those four sections to go over, but we were running out of time. My class of course was stuck on talking about some of their own difficulties, and I was like, ah we need to move on! But no…I learned to never sacrifice hearing my students talk about their feelings and their emotions, just to get through the activity. What they were saying was important, and what was great is that every person in that class was experiencing the transition of now being a sophomore from being a freshman. It’s a rough time, and I was hopefully able to bring it up to them that 1, there is solidarity there and this brings everyone together among the sophomore class, and 2, as sophomores, it is a great blessing to take the freshmen underneath their wings, guide them, and show them the ropes – there’s goodness in this transition too. Such a blessing I have in teaching health that I can bust out an activity to check in with the health of my students – see how things are going with them socially, spiritually, emotionally, mentally…so good.
So, as for my name on campus, I am known as ms. Cadillac, ms. C, ms. Caddy, ms. CC, there are a bunch – or sometimes I get, ah! Are you the health teacher? Or, ah! YOU’RE the health teacher! …I have lots of fun with the girls, and when I had lunch duty today, some of the girls tried to teach me salsa and meringue…haha that’s what you get when your students are primarily Dominican. It’s wonderful, it really is! I got to talk one on one with one of my students today…I noticed there was a sadness in her character and demeanor and so I asked her to meet up with me during one of her free times in campus ministry. It was my first one on one time with a student, and it gave me an opportunity to pray for her, and realize how hard it is to be in high school – with the pressures of family, and school, and personal life…it really is difficult going through it…and especially when you are not in the best environment, that makes it only a bit more challenging.
Something that I find so beautiful about the girls at the high school, is how nice they are to me. for instance, when I was in high school, if I ever saw a teacher, I would run the opposite direction or try my hardest at not making eye contact. With these girls, every time I see a student in the hall, or a group of them, whether I knew them by name or not (I’m struggling in this part of being a teacher!), they always say, “hi miss!” when michelle and I were walking down to the train station after stopping by the mr. softee truck for my rainbow sprinkle dipped cone and her chocolate éclair, the students all said bye to us as well…it was just another reality check…that even though they talk in class, and pick and choose exactly what they want to respond to, they have hearts of gold and are open, that is, as long as you talk with them and do so in a loving way.
One of the students was singing the “happy birthday” song by stevie wonder. I immediately turned around and was like, oh my gosh! Who is singing that? it was then that she was like, oh my gosh miss, you’re my best friend! You are my new favorite person!! I was just like, girl, what are the other verses? She didn’t know, but said she would find out. She was like, dang, I thought you was black. Hahaha I was like, huhhhhhhh! Hahaha not even! But then I saw her in campus ministry cause she was visiting and she said the funniest thing…she said…”ms. catalan, on the real though, you’s a black filipino.” Hahaha…I’m in!!!
Just, such a good day. Yes, I have a lot of papers to grade, and things to read, and life to catch up on, but I’m also bathing in the goodness of that which this week brought to my life. On the subway this morning, this construction worker almost collided with another guy on the train, but both were so tired, they just brushed it off. I smiled because I thought it was cute that the construction man was like, ah, sorry! And I don’t know, but I just smiled cause I thought it was great that he said sorry and the other guy was just like, oh it’s fine! Not that typical…The construction man sat down, and I just looked at him. He was in a matching hat and shirt for valley crest companies. It immediately made me think of one of my prospects at news america.
Then I saw he had a tattered piece on his left pant leg, and he was just tired…he was reading his Spanish newspaper and eventually fell asleep for many stops. As he got up from his seat to exit the train, he gave me a smile, and I gave him a smile back, and he said bye, and I said bye too. It was great to have that early morning exchange and to acknowledge another person so early in the morning. Very unexpected. I then saw a mother playing paddy cake with her daughter on the train. There was so much joy. The little girl had cute little flowers in her hair…which means, someone took time to put those gadgets in her hair…she was already being pampered at her probable estimated age of 5. it was super cute!
And that, that was my adventure for Friday on the way to the heights.
You could see him with your heart if you stop looking with your eyes - how could you say no? by steve angrisano
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