life is like a box of chocolates

you know how forrest gump says that you can tell a lot about a person’s shoes? well, let me tell you. you can tell a lot by someone’s feet. Let’s talk about my feet for a couple minutes here. I have blisters, and unhealthy skin on my feet. Yeah, sounds gross, but let me elaborate. Clearly I have no problem discussing this, because my points and observations are way more important than the conditions of my feet. looking at the bright side of things, i have been able to find some good meaning behind this all. :)

so I have blisters on the back of my feet, from wearing flats. Yeah, I am used to wearing heels, and the heels I am used to wearing have not harmed my feet once. The moment I even try to invest in a pair of flats, of course, this is what happens. And these are wedges! And then we have blisters from a new pair of rainbows that I decided to purchase for myself. Since I had to dispose of my last rainbows, I had to invest in another pair, and as a result, blisters from the straps have developed…typical – it’s happened to me before…part of wearing those bad boys in. and then we have my other sandal flats which have ruined/harmed the bottoms of my feet for forever it seems. Haha, yeah that’s not a good thing. Clearly I have been doing a lot of dancing, a lot of walking, and a whole lot of walking. This has resulted in the conditions of my feet…let’s just say it’s painful to walk. But I’m doing really well hiding the pain. That doesn’t stop me from talking about it!

I suppose in a sense that my pilgrimage in new york has already begun where my phases of exploration have reflected themselves and made themselves known in the conditions in my feet. It is transition – the internal changes, it is the changes going on – the external changes in environment…there’s a lot going on. I am in the city where there is a lot to look at…a lot of sensory stuff and a lot of things to look at, and many distractions – a lot of hustle bustle, and amidst it all, there are people living, or surviving every day. Trying their very best. You see it on the subway, you see it when everyone is walking by with emotion or no emotion on their face…you see it, because you ask yourself, or I ask myself, what am I doing here? Who am I amidst this all?

Each day is a new adventure and my heart takes in and leaves out the wanted and unwanted givings of each moment and minute. I have already had multiple experiences where I tell strangers that approach me, I am a missioner that lives in a convent, and it creates the biggest shock, especially to those who do not share the same mindset, or have the background capacity to understand. Every time I say those words, I see it as a moment of testament and a moment to hear myself say what I am doing, and it already serves as a reminder as to why I am actually here. There is plenty of fruit waiting for me and being patient with me, and I truly believe that with God’s timing, all that is necessary to be revealed, will indeed make itself known, as it needs to. i just have to be patient with myself simultaneously.

Every moment on the subway, every moment walking avenue by avenue gives me the opportunity to reflect and think about this stuff, and reflect on myself, presently. There was a quote that I came across and it was basically like, to be fully alive, just be. And that my friend, is what I am choosing to do. No expectations, no judgments, try my best to be who I am, and just be. Allow it all to happen as it should. Just be. Damaged, tired, dirty feet and all, just be and I am as I am.

By having the courage to be herself, she put something wonderful in the world that was not there before. —Unknown